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writes:What are the chances a relationship will endure if a couple break up because of character differences and unacceptable behavior (alcholism, etc.) but, get back together because one or the other is lonely?Is it possible in the long run, if the person who was unaccepting of the other person promising to accept them for who they are, to follow through with that promise? Also, if this relationship was, the first time around, a rebound is there really a chance they can make it long term.It is in my opinion, that eventually these same issues and feelings of dislike will resurface again and once again destroy the relationship. If anyone has ever been in such a relationship as this I would love to hear what the outcome was. Any opinions or insight are appreciated.
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reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 November 2011):
 I agree, chances are that , if nothing has changed in the meantime and the issues have not been solved , or at least tackled head on and worked on, they'd resurface and generate friction and separation again.
Alcoholism, for instance. Well, I don't see why one partner should " promise " to be OK with the other partner's addiction. That basically means " I'll promise I'll keep my mouthy shut about anything that 's detrimental to our relationship, as long as you stay around "- that's enabling, it's not a healthy relationship. Anyway ,even if the promise was made in good faith, it will be very hard to keep it ; or, forcing yourself to keep it , and to be OK with something you hate, will create stress and unhappiness and eventually drive a wedge between the partners .
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2011): "What are the chances a relationship will endure if a couple break up because of character differences and unacceptable behavior (alcholism, etc.) but, get back together because one or the other is lonely?"chances are slim to none of it working. being in a relationship with someone just because it's less uncomfortable than being alone, is a very unsound and shaky foundation for that relationship. It means that you don't really want to be with that person, it's simply the least aversive option available to you. your relationship is based on selfishness.And then what happens if and when some day one of you meets a new person whom you (or they) really click with and who would be a good match? well now you can't do anything about it because you're already committed to another relationship, one that you're not keen on. You're in a no-win situation. or your partner will dump you the minute he finds someone new and more to his liking because he's just biding time with you avoiding being lonely while he waits for the right person for him."It is in my opinion, that eventually these same issues and feelings of dislike will resurface again and once again destroy the relationship. "You hit the nail on the head. Avoiding being lonely, is no basis for a relationship if that's all that it is.
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