A
female
 ,
*mma_Australila_1983
writes:I'm 23, I broke up with my boyfriend a year ago now. I have been single and getting along with my life fine up until a few months ago. It feels like my confidence had deflated into nothing. I'm not sure of myself and the decisions I make. I feel lost and lonely but anytime I find someone I might be interested in, and them interested in me I end up doing something to wreck it. But most of the time I'm just attracted to either younger guys, or unavailable guys. I dont have enough self esteem left to take the plunge into another relationship because I'm afraid I'm not worthy of being loved but I am incrediably lonely. I've now had a few one night stands with male friends of mine but this is making me feel even worse because it seems no-one really sees me for who I really am. I try to be a good person. Has anyone got some advice for me? I feel so lost!
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broke up, confidence, one night stand, self esteem Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2006): Don't put yourself down! You are a lovely person and worth so much.
It isn't a crime being on your own, learn to love yourself and your own space, it will come in time. You will meet someone when you least expect it. Stop all these one night stands, you won't gain any self respect or respect from others that way.
You need to be around people who you like and feel comfortable with and those who give a lot of encouragement to you.
Take care
xx
A
female
reader, Jessamy +, writes (27 November 2006):
It sounds like you may possibly be suffering from depression. If you have been feeling down, depressed, and hopeless in this way for a consisenst period of more than a month or so, I would reccomend talking to your doctor. I have suffered from depression myself; It's not easy, and it's not your fault. You have to fight it.
As for the rest of it, you ARE worthy of being loved. Don't settle for anything less. You have to tell yourself every day what a great person you are, how much you have to offer the world, and how many great things there are for you to look forward to in your life. And you have to believe it. That probably won't come easy for you, but give it a go. It's awful feeling so low about yourself, and you don't have to. I'm 100% sure that you are a wonderful person, and I'm sure your friends and family would agree with me.
When you feel happy within yourself, your love life will fall into place. The right person will come along sometime, but in the meantime, just relax, spend time with friends, and be confident in yourself.
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A
male
reader, edmoh20 +, writes (27 November 2006):
 Sorry about your situation.I am sure there is always a person for every one out there.It is only a matter of time and u'll meet the man of yo dreams.That fact that u are having one night stands with yo friends only makes the situation worse for you.They will never get to love you and you will feel Used. Be patient,adn you will meet the right person.Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2006): first, you shouldnt be ashamed for who are, EVER. if other people have problems with your personality, blow 'em off...2 years from now i promise it wont matter. also- it may not be a problem thats easy to fix. im not sure what type of lifestyle or situations your in, but if theyve been stressful- it might be depression. there's absolutly nothing wrong with depression either, but try talking to some professionals...getting help is the smartest thing to do.
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