A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This feels like a roller coaster ride. The girl of my dreams, my girlfriend of over a year broke up with me about 6 months ago. Both at different colleges and she decided she did not want a boyfriend. I was crushed. I was, and still am, truly in love with her. Over the last 6 months we'd see each other when we were home and hang out. It seemed like everytime we saw each other after the breakup, more would happen. Started with a kiss on the cheek as she left, then a kiss on the lips. then an "I still love you" message. After winter break, we talked more than ever. Every night she'd call and we'd text all the time. We had decided we'd do our own thing, stay in contact, then come summertime we could hang out and see where things go. Then it stopped randomly and she basically said she changed her mind about things and thought it'd be too hard knowing i wanted more than that. We had our official closure and didn't talk for a few weeks. She told me she wouldnt' contact me then two weeks later she sends me a message, wanting to catch up, etc. I kind of denied her a bit because talking to her made it harder for me to move on. Then randomly on a friday night she texts me late saying hey i'm coming home this weekend. Idk how you feel but i want to see you. So we hung out and she basically confessed her love for me. I told her how i felt and how heartbroken i was but my feelings were still there so i said i love you back when she said it. We talked for a bit about everything and she kept saying how sorry she was for how she treated me and taht guys have tried to date her but she just couldn't do it bc she only has feelings for me and can't move on. This was all shocking to me cause i thought she moved on and what not. Despite how she felt about me she told me she doesn't want anything serious or any kind of committment. Which is killer for me because I want to date her again and get back to how serious we once were. so the next few weeks, leading up to today, we've been talking about everyday since. We talk on the phone all the time, just like we're dating basically. She still calls me baby and stuff like that. I just don't get it. I know she still loves me but why doesn't she want a boyfriend. She says how she still has feelings yet doesn't want anything serious for the next 2 years. Yeah, she said that. I told her i thought she was keeping me around til she found something better and she said that was not it at all. I just don't think she's ready to let me go. For how crazy i am about her it's hard for me to go out and meet girls whenever she says how she cant wait to see me again and 'wants' me so bad. It's not fair and she knows i want more than what we have. it's so difficult to be unhappy even though it isn't fair, because I am still lovestruck by her and happy that we're even talking, because months ago i was so heartbroken and depressed about losing her. I don't know what to do and any advice on the situation would help. Thanks!
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (20 April 2009):
 The thing is that when you are together you are great and both of you keep thinking about each other when you are apart. When you don't talk you are both miserable.
I can understand both sides here, you want something more than just getting together when you are at home but she is saying she cannot do that. She is trying to be the one to say go your own way but when the reality of it all hits, she can't do it. I think that with you both away at college etc it is hard to know what the future will hold for either of you. You are still in the settling in period and no one can see around the corner.
I think if you want to date other girls then you need to be honest with her and say I can't keep this up right now. If not however, then you have to accept what she can give to you right now and just enjoy it while it lasts, who knows, either one of you may feel differently in 6 months.
Life is too short to worry about the future so just enjoy what you have or cut your ties for good as it is hard to move on when you have constant reminders of an ex.
Keep us posted eh!
BFN
Country Woman
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