A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Is it wrong for a man to fantasize about having sex with other women when he is having sex with his wife? My husband has started looking at porn online and sometimes wants to play it to "get in the mood". I am an attractive woman, but we have been together for many years. I feel he needs outside stimulation just to perform with me. This feels horrible..and now he has been watching 3some porns and has asked about doing that. Is it mid-life crisis or what? He is 38. I am 33. What is going on? It seems like he wants to be very sexually "free" before he goes into old age and could become empotent at some point. He is always saying "omg Im getting so old!" I am afraid of where all this is going...and not sure I can stomach most of it. I am not prude by any means, but I'm just concerned. Any advice men?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, BunnyTee +, writes (29 April 2010):
 Not a guy here, but I've been where you're at: my h/b was once addicted to porn. I'd swear he preferred it me at one time. Turns out it's the fantasy thing men seem to become infatuated with; a curse that I believe we girls don't suffer, thankfully. As a true "supplemental" stimulant I see no harm, but as a "supplanting" measure? You're asking for trouble. Get that out in the open and pull those weeds before they take hold. Men have that threesome fixation only b/c they imagine themselves in the middle of the event! Ask him: if he can't handle or please just you what makes him think he can handle TWO? Men are completely screwed in the head with this sex with different women obsession, so accept that now, they function on something we don't have, thank God; it's a throwback to the hunter-gatherer days in the interest of perpetuating the species like a barnyard animal or worse. Drag this demon into the light of day and it'll wither and die as it should. Frank and even brutal honesty is your best investment. Require this unhealthy fixation or addiction to become past history and demand that NO ONE in ANY form be allowed to come between the most intimate aspect of your lives unless there is consensual agreement otherwise! Pills, and drugs are not the answer to these issues, personal responsibility IS! Require him to show some. Set the example. Take the bull by the horns, sister and kick it's ass..and good luck doing it!
A
male
reader, Kenneth +, writes (28 April 2010):
Sex most times is a fantasy. Men do fantasize about other women when making love to their partnres/wives. I know I do sometimes. After several years having sex with same; it gets very boring in my opinion.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): I think this is very common thing with 'long term' couples.How is your sex?is it always the same?do you try something different in sex?there are so many ways of spicing up sex life!only imagination is a limit.try to surprise him,sexy clothes,different places,dare him.maybe you don't know your man and whats behind his mind.try to talk to him.maybe he wants to see a little 'slutish' side of his wife which yet belongs only to him.If you dont like and dont want to do threesome you have to tell him,it is your right to be uncomfortable with that.If he really loves you he will understand and hopefuly try to bring some 'refreshments' in your sex life as well!Unfortunatelly some men around 40 need to feel sexy and desirable by other women but most of them are happy to get just 'cheep thrill' from other women like cheeky smile which is enough to get adrenalin going so they cant wait to come home feel how beautiful and divine is to make love with a person who knows,understand and support you in all ways,your partner.Surprise him to ask to watch a porn with him or even make one!As I mentioned before,try to be his 'little naughty girl',maybe you will be surprised with an outcome,hopefully good one! ;o)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010): get him on cialis or something like that.will make your sex last alot longer (hours and hours) and be more satisfying for you because he'll become an animal, and more satisfying for him because he'll feel more like a man knowing hes satisfying you., and he won't have to jump through hoops to feel desire while on cialis. Porn, etc. All he will need is u
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