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male
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anonymous
writes: This is really hard for me to talk about because I’d rather not even think about it. But I need to know how to cope with this, for the most part I’m over it but it always keeps coming back to play on my mind. My current girlfriend, whom I love dearly, has only had one sexual partner so I should be grateful, but it just eats me up inside. I guess what makes this hard for me is the fact that she has been my best friend for two years. I knew her before, and during her previous relationship. She was 16 when she lost her virginity, to a sleaze of a guy who thought she loved. The thing is he was 21. He had of course had had sexual experience and knew she was virgin, so the guy should have bloody known better. Before she slept with him I constantly told her to watch out for him and I thought she knew better. Another aspect of this which makes it hard is that she had a crush on me, so I suspect she was in that relationship to get over me? I mean she has had her fair share of problems but I just wish she had more courage in herself. Anyways I’m having a hard time coping with this, so if anyone has any ideas on how I can come to terms with his reality it would be muchly appreciated. I’m 18 by the way, she was my first sexual partner and I plan on her being my only one.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2008): I'm in the exact same situation man, and its been like this for nearly 6 months... I don't know what to do either, nothing helps really. I made her feel totally inappropriate, and now she just really doesn't have the sympathy anymore...
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reader, Kated101 +, writes (12 January 2006):
I've been in this EXACT situation but from the other side. I think it's important that you never let your girlfriend know how much this troubles you, I was with a real sleaze before my boyfriend came along and now all I can do is wish that I'd waited for him. At first it tore him up to think about it, but, in time, he came to realise that the fact I'd been with the sleaze hurt me alot more than it did him. That's my first advice, don't mention it ever to your girlfriend. Second piece of advice... and I know this isn't what you want to hear, but time IS a great healer, the more time you spend together the more things you'll have to be greatful of and you'll realise that this thing doesnt matter half as much as you think it does now because you've got the rest of your lives together.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (12 January 2006):
 What is past is past and there is nothing you can do about it so you just have to move forward and let it go. Everyone has something in their past they wish they hadn't done or said. If you dwell on this you may end up losing the love of your life so knock it off. Fix your eyes on the beautiful future ahead and keep them there.
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