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It is so hard to be just his friend with benefits because I love him

Tagged as: Friends, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 May 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 6 June 2008)
A female United States age 51-59, *urt and lonely writes:

I fell in love with my best friend brother. We started out as friends and eventaully became lovers. As a result, feeling got involve, mainly mines. I wanted to take our relationship to the next level. as for him, he was not ready to commit. However, we still spent alot of time together until I went off when I seen him with another women. He alway state to me that we are just friends. At the same time, he hated to see me hurt and would always call me to see how I am doing. If I needed him, not sexually, but other ways, he was always there. It is so hard to be just his friend because I love him, but at the same time I don't want to lose him as a friend. In addition, he pops up at my house without calling to see if I have company and want to have sex. Sometimes i give in and sometimes I don't. Nevertheless, He always come back to me. How do you handle a situation like this.

View related questions: best friend, fell in love, friend with benefits

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A female reader, godscreation United States +, writes (6 June 2008):

i am in the same exact situation....... wow i know exactly how u feel.... ppl we need help, feedback and advice asap....lol thanks!!!!!!!

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A female reader, Aunt Audrey United Kingdom +, writes (31 May 2008):

Aunt Audrey agony auntI agree with DiovanLestat here, the writing is on the wall... You are in love with your friend, he has not mislead you into thinking that you have a future together other than frindship and has an open honest relationship with you.

If you are finding it hard to control your feelings for him, you firstly need to stop having sex with him, and if you cannot be around him without feeling that it is a one way street maybe you should stop seeing so much of each other and find someone else to spend your time with.

I feel if you carry on the way you are right now you are going to get hurt and you will have no one to blame other than yourself.

Good Luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008):

You need to be realistic about your situation. He is your best friend. Sometimes he has sex with you when he feels like it. He cares for you, he likes you but he dosen't love you, he dosen't want to commit, you are not the woman he wants to marry, you are not a girlfriend.

He is your friend. If you explain your problem I'm sure he will understand. You can no longer have sex with this man. He is having a good "screw", you are hurt and lonely and in love. You can retain your friendship, or if it's too painfull, take a break untill you feel stronger.

This man has been honest and truthfull with you. He has offered friendship and sex and nothing else. If you want more, you will have to find somebody else that can give it to you.

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