A
female
age
36-40,
*warfcleavage
writes:ok sooo recently i've been sleeping over my bfs house a lot and he loves it. problem is he lives with his friends family. usually during the day he goes to work and we hang out later that night. lately in the morning he keeps telling me he wants to hang out at night but then later on when i ask him whats up he leaves me hanging and says "im having a guys night tonight" its getting really frustrating and i don't know whether to be mad or not, or at least tell him how i feel. i don't want to seem like a bitch, it just kinda hurts when he makes plans and then blows me off.what should i do? Reply to this Question
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reader, golddigger99 +, writes (6 February 2011):
 I'm so sorry you're going through this, but I agree with metoo... about talking to him and letting him know how you feel.
Unfortunately, most guys need to be told what they're doing wrong. If you never bring it up to him, he'll never stop. And, if he continues to blow you off, blow him off, it would be for the best. You don't want a guy like this anyways.
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (6 February 2011):
Hi there. Perhaps you are both spending too much time together.
In a relationship, it is important that you both have your own lives and own interests and friends.
If as you say, you are spending many nights sleeping over at his place, he might be starting to feel a little bit crowded.
Keeping in mind that he is staying with the family of a friend of his, this also restricts things for both of you anyway.
It's not like you are staying at his own place.
He probably feels that he wants to have some time on his own just with his mates, for a break from just you and him. It keeps things in balance.
There is nothing wrong with that, but it would be better for him to say that he was doing that at the start of the day, instead of making plans with you, then breaking them.
This is really what the problem is.
Perhaps what might be better for you, is don't sleep over there every single night. You haven't said "every single night" in so many words, but you said "a lot", which probably means almost every night.
You would be better off not sleeping there quite so often, and just keep it to one night a week or 2 at the most - with a few nights in between.
It does seem like he wants a break, from just you and him only. That seems clear. I feel sure that's why he's doing this.
Don't be angry or upset at him, but instead decide to also have a life of your own and go see your own friends and go out with them and have fun. It will make your relationship with him much more interesting.
Too much togetherness, can be counterproductive as far as relationships are concerned and can cause people to feel hemmed in. I believe this is what's happening with him.
So my advice is to give him some space, and allow him to have some time with just his mates and him, and you do the same - with your friends. You will find then, that things run a lot more smoothly.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2011): Well you should just talk to him. My boyfriend and have been going out for months and we have only hung out during the day a few times due to his crazy work schedule's. i was getting very frustrated bc on his days off we wouldn't hang out until night time. i just came to realize he only gets one day off and needs to get stuff done. maybe since your boyfriend works during the days he wants to spend time with his friends during the night and doesn't no how to balance his friends and your relationship. the best thing to do is talk to him about it and if he doesn't understand or try to compromise then hes not worth it.
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