A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My wife had some relationship issues about ten years ago that caused us to split and she moved out. Her move was sudden, and a surprise while I was at work. We didn't talk for about six weeks, during this time she was living with another man. After the six weeks we were seeing eachother again for about a month, then all of the sudden she doesn't want to talk anymore. A month later I get a text from her that she's six weeks pregnant. I had DNA test and the kid is mine. I drive down to pick her up and take her home. We get married two months later and have been happy. Now after all this time I have a couple triggers to remind me of the situation and its been consuming me. We do some talking and her story now is way different from what she told me then. She swears there was nothing going on between them before she left, and she didn't leave me for him. She also says the second time, she lived with family and not him. The reason she left the second time according to her is she found out she was pregnant and was scared. What bothers me is before she left her phone would go off at odd hours and once while trying to ask for sex she told me to get off of her using his name. They hung out quite a bit and worked together for a bit as he was a friend of her uncle. When she went to the hospital to get her pregnancy test, she used his address. When I picked her up after I found out. He was down there. Is it coincidence, or is she lying to me after all this time. Does it really matter?I'm not sure if I am more upset over what happened or if I'm not sure she's being truthful. I want to make these thoughts go away, I don't know how. What reason does she have to lie now? It was ten years ago before we were married. I just don't know.
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at work, moved out, pregnancy test, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kitah  +, writes (27 November 2012):
If you trust her story just try be happy and forget about the past . If not then it might be time to move on if it keeps eating at you
A
male
reader, human_male  +, writes (25 November 2012):
 It sounds like she was lying but if things have been good since then I'd let it go if you can. Maybe she's lying because she doesn't want to mess things up.
Ask yourself this, if she did tell you the truth and all the things you've suspected are true what would you do? Would you leave her?
If you want to let this go maybe think about seeing a therapist so you can talk it all out. Maybe just completely venting your fears and concerns will help.
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