A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello agony aunts! My mates introduced me to a great guy last year. All this time we've been in each other's lives without knowing it. Long story short: there was mutual attraction but he wanted to advance too quickly, so I didn't accept in fear of being a rebound as he just broke off a serious relationship. He said I didn't deserve any efforts to chase me and we should just be friends. Now this is fine, though he said he wanted friendship but stopped contacting me. And it would be fine if we could move on and go back to our separate lives. However we'll always be in each other's lives because of our friends and now things are really awkward. I'm struggling to act normal around him when he carries on with my friends but makes a point to avoid me. I'm disappointed now that he doesn't seem to want anything to ever happen between us but I don't regret my decision. We never became more than friends and it ended before it began, so why do I feel like I just got broken up with?! Am I overthinking? I really miss him as a friend but how am I supposed to approach him now? Any advice would be appreciated, thank you!
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female
reader, MamaBear  +, writes (26 March 2011):
How can you miss something that you really never had? Egos are interesting, huh? Why not forget about him and go with your initial reaction and decision. There was good reason for this decision and it was honest. So, now he avoids you? Well, it doesn't sound like you are missing much from him. He sounds rude! Move on in your young life as the world is full of all kinds of guys. I'm certain this won't be your first nor your last mutual attraction to a guy. For now, just enjoy your life.
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (24 March 2011):
 You actually broke up with him when you rejected his advances for a relationship. His avoidance of you is likely because he was more hurt by that than he let you know. Guys like to hide when we get hurt, especially from the one who hurt us.I think if he was capable of being your friend, he would be. He's likely not ready. If you reach out, let him know you miss his friendship, but realize he may not want that with you anymore, but that you're there if he changes his mind.
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