A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Where do I start? I'm 21 and bi but I'm more into men and apart from a one night stand three years ago, I've been single since I was 16. I'm open about my sexuality and pretty much everybody local to me knows that I'm bi, so awareness isn't a problem. I don't feel like I'm attractive enough for anyone I fancy. I'm an occasional pot smoking heavy metal fan. I've got long hair (Which is said to be my best feature), I'm overweight, covered in body hair, and I'm only a touch over five inches 'down there'. (Don't worry, I shower daily and I do keep myself looking respectable)I'm basically a "bear" which I don't want to be because I find "bears" unattractive. (No offence to any bears out there.) Also, my gay friends see me more as a 'brother' rather than a potential boyfriend. I'm very relaxed and easy to get along with, but I can't get to the flirting stage because I have no confidence in how I look.So I boil down this wall of text into a few bullets.*How can I build up self confidence? n.b, I have very sensitive skin, so shaving my body is not an option.*How can I put myself out more so people know I'm after more than just friendship?*Living in a small town in the middle of nowhere, how can I find someone who is into me without using dating websites and cruising apps?Many Thanks.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011): Hi
Confidence can be improved on by getting into to something where you freely give of yourself without requiring anything back. How about volunteering? Go to your local Volunteer Bureau and you'll be surprised at the range of things you could get involved in - maybe something to do with young less-able people for example?
As for something 'more than just friendship', I would recommend you go to the 'Gay Parship' website. it's for guys looking for a serious long-term relationship - it's not about a date or a sexual hook-up.
A
male
reader, AvgGuy1  +, writes (7 June 2011):
 Since you are in a small town I think... that you're gonna find the best resources are on-line. Trust me, you can meet your partner that way - I did. Signup to sites that cater to bears... as well as those that are geared towards what you are attracted to. Trust me, someone will find you attractive - even if you don't think that you are. The more people that show interest in you... the better you'll feel about yourself.
Try to get to the 'big' city occasionally (maybe a couple of times a year). Go with a friend, sort of as a wingman - someone who can push you a little and boost your confidence - and to help pay for things.
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