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Isaac and Me

Tagged as: Family, Pregnancy, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Article - (11 April 2010) 34 Comments - (Newest, 18 April 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, jumpupshoutout writes:

hi guys i had just turned 13 when i found out i was 6 weeks pregnant i didnt know what to do i didnt tell my mum i went straigt to my boyfriend and told him we were going to have a baby he sayed thats great but i didnt hear from him again so i told my big sister and she sayed that shed help me tell mum and my mum didnt like it at first but she came round eventually i went online to order a cot but my mum had just logged out and i checked the history she had been looking at houses in hull so i looked at some of the houses and they were all 3 and 4 bedrooms i was wondering what she was doing i confronted her and she sayed she was starting new in hull i asked her if she was ashames her 13 year old daughter was pregnant and she sayed no i could never be ashamed of you i ran out at 6 months pregnant i went down to the council office and spoke to some one about a 3 bedroomed house for my mum me and my baby and she looked up on a computer and sayed there was one in the area i was living in i asked her if she can get some pictures and a floorplan and send it through id be happy she did and 1 month later we moved in my uncle helped with furnuture i wasnt allowed to do any thing my uncle dan and uncle george and a couple of there mates helped i was sent off to a day at the spa with my best mate who was 16 and pregnant so we went to a young mums spa for the day it was really relaxing we got back at like five o'clock and had tea then my friend went home my mum asked me to come upstairs and see what she had done i went up stairs and there was a nice big room my mum took me in and sayed this is your room along the hall was my mums room and the room next to mine was the babys room all got the furnuture in them i went into labour at eight and a half months and after 14 hours of labour i pushed my 9 pound.4oz baby into the world and called him issac he had the cuteset button nose and i got discharged after 13 hours of giving birth i got a call 2 weeks later saying my friend had went into labour she had a 20 hour labour and i was at her side 1 hour after the phone call she had a little girl 6 pound 2 ounces now were like a family my mum her and both babies

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A female reader, jumpupshoutout United Kingdom +, writes (18 April 2010):

jumpupshoutout is verified as being by the original poster of the question

jumpupshoutout agony auntits sunday and im just back from B&Q were doing the babies room up from blue and pink to in the night garden theme thats the kids favoroute program to watch on telly i bought isaac a new toy and nicole bought lilly a new toy its isaac's birthday in four days soo might not be on because im giving him a little birthday party for all the kids at the young mum group where we live so bye for now

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (16 April 2010):

Miamine agony auntYep, perfect friday.... I'm watching politics and eating ice-cream... yummmmm

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A female reader, jumpupshoutout United Kingdom +, writes (16 April 2010):

jumpupshoutout is verified as being by the original poster of the question

jumpupshoutout agony aunthi me and nicole(thts my mates name)

have just put isaac and lilly to bed just tidying up toys now and away to make up night bottles and sorting nappies and wipes

4 bottles 4 nappies 1 pack of wipes

2 best mates and a chick flick perfect friday night

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A female reader, jumpupshoutout United Kingdom +, writes (16 April 2010):

jumpupshoutout is verified as being by the original poster of the question

jumpupshoutout agony aunthey im away to go shopping for nappies and wipes and food for tea my mates working so i got the kids today but im working tommorow so see ya x

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A male reader, Starmonster888 United Kingdom +, writes (16 April 2010):

Starmonster888 agony auntWait, you're telling me we weren't friends this whole time!!!

Lol,

I'm all for the internet based group hug!

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (15 April 2010):

Miamine agony auntHey guys, are we all friends now... I say, time for big group hug.. lol

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (15 April 2010):

Miamine agony auntThey are still sweet when they are one.. when he gets to two and starts shouting, hitting you and thinks he owns the place then I suggest you sell him and see how much you make.

He won't start running until he's about 18months.. that's when you get a rope and keep him tied to you, because before you can blink he'll be off trying to do something dangerous.

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A male reader, Starmonster888 United Kingdom +, writes (15 April 2010):

Starmonster888 agony auntCeltic Tiger...ahh let me get my mega-clarification cap on:

When seeing things from a teenage mom's perspective, I described the opposition negatively and labeled the young mom as innocent. Afterwards, I looked at it from the tax payer's point of view and labeled the tax-payers hard working and the mini mommy as spoiled-in nutshell, my whole post was a hypothetical argument which consisted of two opposing sides, namely yourself, MiaM and the poster, that didn't necessarily manifest in such extremes, but potentially represented such in the other's mind.

In a smaller nutshell, it was neutral observation.

Now, the answer to your question, no I am not a taxpayer, too young for that. So you're right, I have no idea what if feels like to pay the goverment(though I do imagine it's similar to paying of a bully in school). I'm also not a teenage mom, therefore I have no reason to be biased...or abuse you for that matter...I'm a sweetheart.

Oh and Q, I think I maybe a real candidate for that crown now, lol.

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A female reader, jumpupshoutout United Kingdom +, writes (15 April 2010):

jumpupshoutout is verified as being by the original poster of the question

jumpupshoutout agony auntand i do go to school just not as much im in part time education im only doing english and maths because i have english maths then work my mate has a job its part time but she gets more money than me she goes to collage and thanks for your comments you guys keep me wanting to come back but i do need one bit of advice what should i expect when he turns 1

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (15 April 2010):

Miamine agony auntActually, I've never minded paying taxes, I've always been willing to pay more, so I have always put some extra in the charity box... too many people have it hard, and yes, the young pregnant teens get it worse..

It's just that it seemed so unfair, the house, the spa, a friend, and everything absolutely wonderful, when I know money is short and a lot of people are suffering and getting evicted and unemployed right now...

But, life isn't really like that, not even for this young lady who is getting a lot of help. She still has to think about money, she's expected to pay her way with the little money she has...

Best way really, money dosen't grow on trees... (well it does, if it's pound notes you are spending) :)

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (15 April 2010):

Miamine agony auntJumpsupshoutout, the more you write and tell us how your managing with Isaac, the happier I am that you decided to come here to dear cupid..

Now you explain about your finances, changing nappies and learning all about babies, the easier it is for young teenagers to see what childcare (even with mum and a friend helping) is all about..

Thank you very much for your update..

PS: At 16 your teenage friend is above the age of consent, but it dosen't matter.. You've had so much help, and she's had very little and lots of pain... thank you for being a friend, and again, your mother is a beautiful person with a heart full of love.

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A female reader, celtic_tiger United Kingdom +, writes (15 April 2010):

celtic_tiger agony auntMiamine, I think it was me those names were meant for. Altho quite why we get the abuse for giving our opinion and not glorifying teenage pregnancy I dont know. All I am doing is showing the other side of the coin. Not everyone agrees with money being dished out like sweeties.

I see too many young girls with about 5 young children in tow, wandering the streets all day and not doing anything to contribute to their childrens lives, just waiting to be given more cash to have more babies. Maybe that makes me bitter, but I work hard, so that in the future, I will be able to support my children by myself.

And yes, I do feel a bit peeved that a lot of my hard earned pay, goes to these teenage mothers. I would love a three bedroomed house! But I can't save enough at the moment to get a mortgage, so I have to make do with what I have.

I am glad this girl is ok, and that she has a healthy baby, but I do not want to encourage young girls to think this is a "lifestyle" choice. I DONT want them to think "hey, If I get pregnant at 13, someone will give me a 3 bedroom house, and give me money". Because sadly, a lot of girls DO think like that. We should be discouraging this attitude.

Starmonster888 - Do you Pay Tax yet? I'm guessing you dont. When your first wage packet comes in, and you realise that about £200 + has been taken out for tax etc, you too will begin to look at what the government spend your money on with a bit more detail. And you WILL care a lot, when it appears to be being wasted.

Two words. Millenium Dome. What a waste.

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A female reader, jumpupshoutout United Kingdom +, writes (15 April 2010):

jumpupshoutout is verified as being by the original poster of the question

jumpupshoutout agony aunttheres alot of people in the world thathas kid that turn out to be terrors at 1&2 but ive seen that and i wont let my little boy near being like that and yes he may not have a dad but he has 2 mums and a nana that love him just the exact same as my mate her little girl with 2 mums and a nana so dont judge before you can here my best mate was RAPED and thats why her little girl is here but she sasys if she could change one thing she would change how her baby was conceved and my mate gets clothes passed down from my 2 year old neice because its hard me and my best mate help each other out my mate has got a part time job and that brings in £95 a week and it goes into nappies for 150 its £10 and that does us weve learned that for that to last us a week we have to change the kids nappies every 4 times a day and that lasts till they go to sleep and if wee do need more my mum gets them me and my best mate have day care set up because i have a part time job in a hairdresser witch pays £65 per 5 days i work and when the babys were first born i only got £25 a week so look how far we have come me and my best mate went through everything toghether pregnancy,birth,and rasing babys toghether.

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A male reader, Starmonster888 United Kingdom +, writes (15 April 2010):

Starmonster888 agony auntThat's a pretty positive attitude you possess. That 888 in my name, everyone always misses it out...maybe it's because Starmonster888 is too long, you can all 888 for short :)

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (15 April 2010):

Miamine agony auntNo problems Starmonster... I'm teasing... not offended at all... Dear Cupid is a place where people are truthful and it's always good to see things from another point of view...

Didn't you see my smiley face... :)

PS: Don't watch your hands, cause then you'll start typing tons of rubbish.. lol

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A male reader, Starmonster888 United Kingdom +, writes (15 April 2010):

Starmonster888 agony auntWait, don't take the cold happy hating thing seriously, it was just supposed to symbolise how one side of the argument might view the other, I didn't men to offend...I should have used the flawless "no offense" technique...sorry. I should watch my mouth...well since i'm typing, I should watch my hands.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (15 April 2010):

Miamine agony aunt"cold, happieness-hating woman"... "righteous and mean"... lol, I've been called worse...

Lots of positive feedback on this post, and for that we must be thankful to Issac's mother for telling us her story..

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A male reader, Starmonster888 United Kingdom +, writes (15 April 2010):

Starmonster888 agony auntCan I input a little more, question just got awesomer over night!

I thought is was nice to have a teenage mom come here and give us a good story for once, then all of a sudden it was Star Wars: The Taxpayer Strikes Back!

There is more than enough material warning girls OFF teenage pregnancy on this site(sometimes I think we should just call it "Dearcupidforteenswhowanttohavesex...don't.com), but this is good for girls who are already pregnant. Sure they may not be AS lucky, but this could show girls who are scared to tell their mothers that parents can help, you are not alone or that the goverment(...i mean taxpayer) will assist...okay whether that part is good is debatable but you get the drift.

Which brings me to Miamine's input. To begin with, I thought things like "party pooper" and cliche things like "bubble burster", but when I really reflected on this page, I realized how much of an unintended supplement those comments were. Miamine showed the flip side of the coin, the trouble it causes.

I guess what I am saying is that it would have been difficult to understand how a hard working tax payer would feel if a "cheeky spoilt single mother" was boasting about her happy ending, or how an innocent teenage mother would feel if a "cold, happieness-hating" woman claming to be a taxpayer attacked her for being happy unless we saw an actual confrontation...the two of you provided that. Thank you both.

My point? I have none, this is an article, not a question...so first poster, I couldn't resist.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (15 April 2010):

Miamine agony auntDon't worry Q, yes she is adorable, and she's got loving family and friends beside her, she'll be all right in the end... She just needs to think a bit more carefully about the riches that come to her... but she can worry about all that next year...

Congratulations on having a healthy baby and a loving family around you.. :)

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (15 April 2010):

Miamine agony auntYes I know Q, that's why your not allowed to be with children on your own, you turn into mush too easily.. :)

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A female reader, celtic_tiger United Kingdom +, writes (14 April 2010):

celtic_tiger agony auntI think you have been very very lucky.

Most underage mums DO NOT get 3 bedroom houses just by going to ask. There are THOUSANDS of families on waiting lists for years, living in cramped conditions waiting to be given bigger houses. I think you landed on your feet.

Also MOST teen mums do not get to spend the day at spas. They DO NOT get furniture and clothes provided for them. I really do hope you realise how lucky you have been.

I also hope you realise WHO is paying for all your luxuries, and that you appreciate and THANK the taxpayers who are funding your house and your choice to have a child under age. When and IF you decide to get a job when you are older, and you have to pay tax, where a large amount of money is taken out of your pay every month by the government to give to girls like you, that you realise just how lucky you have been.

I know women, who have good jobs, and have kids yet struggle financially, because no one gives them a house to live in. They pay rent or mortgages, they have to provide for their children, buy food, clothes, yet they also have to pay for teenagers like yourself through taxes. Money they could spend on their own kids gets taken away to give to kids like you. So I really do hope you are appreciative of what you have been given, and that you make the most of your life, by going to school, getting a good education and getting a well paid job, so YOU can pay back into society what others have paid out for you.

Miamine is correct in saying that a lot of people in the UK get annoyed at teenage Mums, because they dont realise how lucky they are, and take all the money they recieve as benefits for granted, and do not appreciate the help they have been given. A lot (and I am not saying you are one of them) teenage mums, think this is an easy way to live life, and then just continue to live on benefits and having more children, and taking more money from the hard working taxpayers. They do not work, because they believe the state will always provide for them. They are happy to just take take take, and THAT is what annoys people the most.

Please DO NOT become one of those girls. Go out, LEARN at school, and get a good job, so you contribute BACK to the country and to other people who need help.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (14 April 2010):

Miamine agony auntjumpupshoutout as you can see, I'm very angry.. you make having a baby seem so easy.... Other 13,14 and 15year olds will read your story and think that they can do it too...

You are very lucky your mother is helping you so much, without her, there is no way in the world you could afford to have a baby. But your her little girl, she loves you and she won't let you suffer, even if it means her going without or giving up the plans she had for the rest of her life.

For you, everything is wonderfull, but £25 isn't enough to keep a baby... that about pays for nappies... sigh

I'm advising young girls who want babies to read your post, I'm glad you updated and explained that sometimes parents will kick you out and leave you on the street..... again, you have a very, very good mother.. you won't understand just how much help she has given until your child is your age and you start worrying about becoming a grandmother when your 26...

Take care, babies are only babies for a little while, before you know it they are walking, talking and swearing, and then they are moody teenagers who refuse to listen to a word you say.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (14 April 2010):

Miamine agony aunt"my uncle helped with furnuture i wasnt allowed to do any thing my uncle dan and uncle george and a couple of there mates helped i was sent off to a day at the spa with my best mate who was 16 and pregnant so we went to a young mums spa for the day....."

Damn.. you sure have life easy...

Please continue to update your posts, there's a lot of young girls out there who are young and want babies too.... maybe you can give them some advice about what to expect when the baby comes.. we adults keep saying it's hard, but they don't believe us, and after reading your post, I don't believe the adults either...

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A female reader, jumpupshoutout United Kingdom +, writes (14 April 2010):

jumpupshoutout is verified as being by the original poster of the question

jumpupshoutout agony auntmy friends mam kicked her out when she found out she was pregnant so me and her share a room the babys share a room and my mum has her own room its great having someone who knows what your feeling and going through the good thing is my mum helps us both out but i have a neice so she gets my neice's clothes and my mum pays the £100 i get a month i help my mate get food

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (14 April 2010):

Miamine agony auntActually, it's probably best you go and look after your children.... posts like yours make a lot of working people and taxpayers angry.. that's why they keep wanting to change the laws...

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (14 April 2010):

Miamine agony auntThink she meant me... didn't know it was so easy to get a 3 (4) bedroom house in Britain..... she just went to the council, and bang, they moved her and her mum, her mother didn't even have to ask....

"i ran out at 6 months pregnant i went down to the council office and spoke to some one about a 3 bedroomed house for my mum me and my baby and she looked up on a computer and sayed there was one in the area i was living in i asked her if she can get some pictures and a floorplan and send it through id be happy she did and 1 month later we moved in"

I'd have done it myself if I knew bringing up children would be so easy and financially rewarding... pity I was so stupid, to try to get myself educated, whilst running two households and holding down a full time job... Young girl you can't spell, but you got more brains than me and all the other women who work, put off having children and save every penny that they earn. Nope, just get pregnant at 13, and all your problems are solved.

mmmm... now what do we tell all the other 13 year old's, once they read this story, they'll all run off and have children and give up going to school.. Who needs spelling, when your guaranteed money, help and a big house for you and your family.

"now were like a family my mum her and both babies"...

Wow lucky mum, two babies and two teenagers to keep her company... wonderful if she loves kids..but I notice there's no man in the picture....mmmmmmmmm

Horrible to say, but now you've updated, this story is probably true.... your mother is a wonderful woman, and has dedicated her life to looking after you, your friend and your children...

PS: Is anybody in your story working, or dose the government just provide everything?

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A female reader, jumpupshoutout United Kingdom +, writes (14 April 2010):

jumpupshoutout is verified as being by the original poster of the question

jumpupshoutout agony auntim just saying because thts the impression i get from some of these comments and its not a question its a artical

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A female reader, jumpupshoutout United Kingdom +, writes (14 April 2010):

jumpupshoutout is verified as being by the original poster of the question

jumpupshoutout agony auntcan ppl stop calling me a bad mother and that this is fake because i spend £25 a week on my son and my mum puts £100 a month in so dont call me a bad mother i put my son first

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A female reader, shani08 Australia +, writes (14 April 2010):

shani08 agony auntI think having children is a beautiful thing. Im 20 years old and fell pregnant when i was 18, i had an abortion, i sometimes wonder what my life would be like now if i had had that child but am very against children having children. In my opinion if i was 13 and fell pregnant i would have aborted it but im glad you have all the support you deserve and your family is a healthy one. And as for the prick who left you.. he will always be a coward and nothing more. All my lov xo

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A male reader, Starmonster888 United Kingdom +, writes (13 April 2010):

Starmonster888 agony auntHey, congrats! I mean guys, I co-sign the punctuation thing and the studying thing, but at least comment on the actual article as well. Wait let me say that again with emphasis: ARTICLE first poster, not question, ARTICLE.

Jumpoutandshout(name burns calories I swear), do take the study advice seriously though.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (13 April 2010):

eyeswideopen agony auntohandIthinkpunctuationisanuisanceandsoarespacesbetweenwords

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (13 April 2010):

eyeswideopen agony auntWhere's the popcorn? Is this in 3D?

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (13 April 2010):

Miamine agony auntMmmmmmm...nice fantasy, but you really do need to study harder.. your story has no punctuation and is very difficult to read.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010):

whats your point?

that isnt a question for advice.

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