A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my husband for 5 years (since i was 18) I love him very much but the last two years of our relationship I find that I'm not sexually attracted to him any more. I just can't help fantasizing about different men. I have no desire to leave him but I'm wondering if a relationship is basically over if there's not sexual attraction?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009): I am in the same situation right now. I have been married to my husband almost 4 years but we have been together for 7 years. He has just told me that we should split up because he has no sexual attraction to me and feels like the sexual attraction has not been there the entire time we have been together. The thought of us spliting up because there is no sexual attraction kills me. We have so much in our marriage...of course there are things that we both need to work on doing such as communicating better and showing our true love for each other more. We have decided to try marriage counceling to see if we can re-kindle that attraction for him instead of just ending it all today. If you truly do love each other and the sexual attraction is the only thing that is truly missing, you should do everything to try and get that attraction back. The hard fact is that your/my relationship just may not work, but thinking positive and doing everything that leads to a good relationship...communication, showing love, believing and getting out of the normal routine, will help. I really believe that if those items are really in a relationship and each of you are doing/working on them, then the sexual attraction will re-kindle and fall into place again.
A
female
reader, Another_Kapiti  +, writes (16 November 2009):
 Why don't you think about what you can do about rekindling your sex life with your husband? Do you think it might just be the drain of life, a full time job, chores even?
Why don't you try doing little things to entice him? What about massage oil? Think how nice a back rub would be at the end of a long working day! For either of you!
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