A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How important is that intense feeling of attraction in a long term relationship? Does it even last longer than a few years? I'm asking because there is a lovely guy who's interested in me but he isn't what I'm generally attracted to in the looks department. He's good looking - tall, blonde hair, blue eyes, biggish build... whereas I'm attracted to the shorter, skinny dark haired type. As far as personality goes, he's great! So is it worth a try? The last thing I want is to hurt him by stuffing him around...
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2009): you know, i agreed to date someone that i was not initially physically attracted to. he was 98 lbs, scrawny and no Johnny Depp. after a few dates, i did begin to find him pretty sexy- it was his personality that really made a difference. he was intelligent, he made me laugh non-stop and he was a great dancer, had excellent taste and we ended up dating for several months, and had a pretty damn good sex life (believe or not). when we did finally break it off, it was because he just wasn't emotionally available enough for me- i was still very much attracted to him.
i'm glad i didn't blow him off because of his looks. it didn't work out for other reasons, but we are dear friends to this day.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2009): i tested this theory out.i went out with a guy that had a sweet personality but that i wasnt attracted to.and i can tell you that after a few weeks, any time he wanted to do anything like kissing, holding hands, basically showing affection, it would make me feel repulsed.There is a difference between friend and boyfriend......a boyfriend there has to be attraction too.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2009): Mmm he sounds yummy, send him my way! Haha just kidding.But seriously in relationships looks are important- there's no getting around it. If I were you, I'd give him a go, go on a few dates and see if the attraction develops. But if no physical attraction develops, it'd probably be better not to bother because you'll always have that element missing and it's very important.
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