A
female
age
30-35,
*andaholic123
writes:I'm so excited. My byfriend has gotten me an engagement ring. ^_^ We still won't be getting married for a few years- we'll be saving money and such for a house, car, etc, etc... we've been together for three years, and our love is stronger than ever. every morning i wake up, he's there at my side, he's there to smile at me and fix my hair, even to kiss my sleepy face... We're getting an adorable simple ring (not cheap though lol) its an irish ring. No fancy expensive diamonds make me excited; its the meaning behind it. I was just wondering what people's opinion is on my engagement upon 3 years together. Too short amount of time? just wondering =)
View related questions:
cheap, engaged, money Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (30 April 2009):
Three years is more than enough time - if it is the RIGHT three years. If it was the years from 15 to 18, I think there are some sincere questions to face about whether you are ready for marriage or not. (And, I have to ask, why are you living together?)
If the 3 years went from age 18 to 21 I think you are on much more solid ground to be taking this step, and probably SHOULD be taking it since you seem to be living together already. That kind of arrangement leads to thinking in terms of "his" and "hers", rather than a marriage based on "ours". It also reinforces attitudes of transience - "if it doesn't work, I can always get out". That thought by itself is destructive to marriage.
My wife and I were both 22 when we became engaged about 3 MONTHS after we first laid eyes on each other. We married one year plus two weeks after that first meeting, and we're still married (to each other!) over 34 years later.
(In all fairness, I must say that we had written to each other - real letters, on real paper - for 3 months before we met. And much of our dating, especially before engagement, occurred while house guests of each others' family. I think both of these factors accelerated the "Do I really know this person?" process. And some older acquaintances, whom we both respected for their wisdom, thought our courtship of just over a year (not counting the 3-letters-a-week time) was a bit on the short side.)
I suggest you read what I wrote in the thread "Should we get engaged?" at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/should-we-get-engaged.html ].
Becoming engaged is a definite commitment to be preparing for marriage. That marriage should be in the forseeable future - certainly no more than two years away. If the marriage date is some nebulous "when we're ready", or "when things settle down", event then you're NOT engaged - you're just stalling while you wait for a better offer.
A
female
reader, blackblackheart  +, writes (29 April 2009):
Yep, certainly is!
My fiance proposed to me on our 3 year anniversary, just before Christmas :) We'd been living together for months by then.
Congrats!
...............................
A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (29 April 2009):
 Three years is more than adequate time. It is your young ages, not your time together that concerns me. You are very young and may find yourselves changing quite a bit in the next few years. You may find that in 3 years time you are completely differant people. You may grow together, you may grow apart. I am glad to hear that you will make it a long engagement so that you can get your educations and save money until the big day. It sounds to me like you two have some good heads on your shoulders and my money is on you making it in the long haul.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): Oh congrats to ye both!!
Your very lucky to have found your soulmate so young!! :)
Let us know how everyting goes!!
Be happyxx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): it can be minutes, it can be almost forever - whats important is that is done at the right time. When you both know....
I would also recommend living together for a bit first....
Otherwise a Billion congratulations forever....
Star.x.
...............................
A
female
reader, writerchic80 +, writes (29 April 2009):
I don't think there is a time limit on love . . .just as the couple who were married after knowing each other six weeks can stay married forever - the couple that waited seven years might divorce after only a year of marriage. Don't think in terms of time limits . . .there is no limit on love.
...............................
|
