A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My husband and i have been married for 8 years with 3 Kids and pregnant at the moment. I have never caught him cheating. But my Brother exgirlfriend told my Brother that she went out my husband and they had sex. Then my husband gave her money. When my Brother asked for my husband number from her, she said she had lost his contact. Also she said she changed her name. I asked my husband about it and said He dont know her. Am confused. Is it true.? Or does this girl want to ruin my marriage? We have been fighting alot since i heard it. My home is not a happy one now. Please advice me on what to do.
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (24 July 2017):
 It sounds a bit much but then again, hey who knows. Even the most far fetched things can be true sometimes.
I'm not trying to scare you by the way.
This woman though, does sound like she's the home-wrecking type because if it's got you and hubby fighting already then guess what? She's got what she wanted out of the situation.
If your gut tells you that he did not cheat then go with your gut because sometimes people's lies play on our hidden insecurities and we turn a situation into something that it isn't.
Hopefully you will find peace in your home soon and it will return to being the happy home that it once was.
A
male
reader, judgedick  +, writes (23 July 2017):
 There is too much here say in all this, define cheating in your own head, is it your husband giving her money to help her out at some time in the past, is not, unless she is trying to say she is a whore, No matter what her story is and no matter what might have happened in the past or not has little to do with today, how do you feel about him how is he with you are things going ok aside from her trying to make crap in other peoples lives, Try to think about what is going on in your life now AS YOU ARE pregnant at the moment and don't need this crap now and your other kids absorb what is going on in you home now, Seemingly you've talked to your husband, and his explanations seem to stack up so put it behind you,I have seen something once about an unfaithful person, and it went something like this, that it has nothing to do with if he or she has sex with another person but if that person has giving reason for you to suspect his lack of love, which with out all the rumers your husband did not,
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (23 July 2017):
 She is trying to get one over on your brother. Pure and simple. And she doesn't care who she hurts to do it. What better way to dig the knife in than tell someone you went with their brother?
Sweetheart, don't let her get to you. This is obviously something between her and your brother and nothing to do with you or your husband. Your brother needs to get a grip and stop talking to her - or, at the very least, stop believing the bile flowing from her mouth and stop repeating it.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (23 July 2017):
 It sounds way too far fetched to be true.
I would honestly TRUST my husband over some woman who can't even give ANY good proof that it happened.
I agree that she is probably more into hurting your brother than you.
She is your brother's ex so no longer part of your life? Correct? I would advise both YOU and your brother to cut the contact with her. She is looking to cause drama and damage to get attention (possibly) and she doesn't care if anyone gets hurt in the process...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2017): She sounds like a messed up b*tch who is trying to mess everybody else up too.I would mostly be skeptical of her story.First, she said she lost your husband's contact info. That is just way too convenient. And she changed her name? That sounds really strange. She isn't making any sense. WHY would she change her name? You can't just do that overnight without going thru a process.I think she is feeling scorned by your husband's brother and is trying to get back at him for saying she had sex with your husband, his own brother. Which is really LOW CLASS of her. She figures that would hit him below the belt, right where it hurts.Was their break up messy? Maybe you can find out more about her thru your BIL. Ask questions. How did they break up? Why? And ask him about the type of woman she is. What kind of character does she have? And history? Realize his opinion may be clouded but still you may feel better questioning your BIL and finding out she was a total NUT JOB.Having said that, I would still keep my eyes open. Never deliberately choose to have your head in the sand or fool yourself for the sake of having a perfect marriage. I am not saying this is your husband but some married men are experts at hiding affairs. And if they come to light and most do, the wife was blind sided. So, maybe she was fed up and blurted out the truth? Some mistresses do lose their married lovers contact info because they are hurt and resentment had built up once the affair is over. She may have changed her name for whatever reason, perhaps not even relating to your husband. I think that is a LOADED accusation to come out of nowhere. And very mean and you ask yourself how can someone be so flippant about such an accusation if it did not have any truth to it? So, I can understand your questioning what she said. Are you the type that would confront her and see if she is telling the truth? Ask her for PROOF? Once she tells you her story, maybe you can then decide if you think she is lying or not? I can tell you I would definitely confront her if it was me. I would need to see all sides. That is because I do not trust anybody 100 per cent. Husbands included.So, I think question WHY this woman said that. What is her motive for saying it? Is it to get back at her boyfriend? This seems to be the most plausible explanation. But don't just accept it. Find out what her relationship was like with your BIL. That is what I would do. I would do some investigating of my own, so that I can reach a resolution which I am happy with. And a place of peace where I can know without a doubt that I feel safe with my husband and trust he did not do something like that. Only you can reach this conclusion. Nobody else.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2017): I think your brother's girlfriend is trying to sabotage your marriage. Perhaps she has designs on him, and wants to see if she can shake him loose. She may also be trying to make your brother jealous.
What motive could she have but destruction?
You have no evidence but her word. You are an easy target, very sensitive, and a bundle of hormones right now.
If you love and trust your husband, and he has no history of being a cheat, I think you should believe him over her.
If you can't, after eight years of marriage and 3-1/2 kids; that's too bad.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (22 July 2017):
 It all sounds a bit suspicious, what with losing numbers and changing names .... what did your brother think about her accusations?
I think, unless you have other reason to think your husband has cheated, that you need to accept that he does not know this woman and that she is trying to hurt your brother by hurting you.
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