A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:The guy I have been dating for about 1 year now is extremely defiant, if you say go left, goes right, if you ask him to do something, he won't do it even if it is reasonable request. He is very, very lazy and he often starts task, but never finish them, for example, he may call and request college information, but will never go in to meet with a admission counselor. He might say he will get his act together and start taking me out on more dates and will do so, but only for a short period of time and then he slips back into his old ways. He often says that he is too lazy, things take too much work and he just doesn't care......he is in his early 20's...is this normal behavior for a person that young to be displaying? Also, he doesn't like authority of any kind...he doesn't like people telling him what to do...he says he wants to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it without anyone telling him. I looked up this disorder known as "Oppositional Defiant Disorder" and it seems as though he may have this disorder and has for sometime now. Why is he so unmotivated? Why is he so lazy? Why can't he seem to push himself to do better? He doesn't have anyone else around him like me who is really positive.....what is going on? Also, he is very, very moody, even the most simplest thing can get him upset. For example, one time he got upset at me because, I took more than 1 minute to order food at a drive through.....is this normal behavior or what?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): I was a bit like him. I still am in some ways.
But believe me, he will end up bored, alone and intolerably lonely.
I did.
I am.
I am better then I was, but thats because I hate feeling lonely.
Flynn 24
A
male
reader, empty-1 +, writes (27 January 2011):
"Oppositional Defiant Disorder":(n); modern PC-rhetoric for 'spoiled little punk'. should have had his rear tanned a few times as an early teen. Been taught an adequate work ethic, respect for others, respect for self, and a healthy dose of self discipline. Lacking theser things, young adults will often turn to drugs, alcohol, easy sex with whomever is available, and will often bounce between dead end jobs. Modern politically correct bullshit will have us believe that some manner of combination of hereditary and environmental imbalances has lead to an almost uncontrollable series of impulses to buck any form of authority, no matter how legitimate, and to refuse to live up to any obligation, no matter how important. Truth be told, this is just the behavior of a loser who won't go anywhere.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (27 January 2011):
Oh yes, to answer your actual question (as I forgot) - no, young men do not act this way. Only idiots do.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (27 January 2011):
You girls to pick them sometimes!
Instead of asking all those questions, you need to ask yourself why you are with a guy who either argues with everything, or is so lazy does nothing at all.
I would stop looking for answers, and just get away from him. Accept that he clearly is so into his own little world, that no one else matters.
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