A
female
age
30-35,
*vol Angel
writes:So I had asked for advice before when I was trying to deal with survivors guilt over the loss of my friend and just so everyone knows right off the bat, it has gotten better.So I hacve set up a team (Mary's Hope) for the local Walk To Defeat ALS in my area, in her memory. But as I make all these plans and am starting my fuindraising I am having all the old feeling of loss and hurt flood back to me.It hasn't even been a year yet... I feel like I need to do this, not only for her... but for myself... but yet again I'm finding it really hard. Do you think it is too soon to be trying to take on events like this while the death is still so "fresh" with me? Am I trying to take this on too quickly? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (5 March 2010):
This proves that in truth you hadn't moved on as much as you'd thought. Perhaps rather than actually moving on, you were merely putting it to the back of your mind. Hence when you decided to do this, it came back. Of course you're going to be hurt if you're doing this in her name. No one is expecting you to be over this and suddenly be able to put a brave face on. If you need to grieve, then you can grieve, and I'm sure those around you will understand. I actually think what you're doing now, though it hurts at the moment, will be better for you in the long term. You're facing all this pain now, and you're doing something positive about it. You're doing something in her name. And I think that's great, and truly something you will be able to look back on and be glad you did. I think if you give up now, and try to heal again, in a few years time you might end up feeling even more guilty and bad for having given up. Be brave and continue as you are. You'll feel so much better for it all when you've done something and you know you've done it for her.
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