A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:He's several years older than me. He's the friendly, kindhearted, sensitive type, but I think our relationship is becoming too close. I don't know and can't tell. He has a girlfriend and hasn't made any moves on me, however our conversations are a bit unique. We talk about his life and he tells me his feelings, his worries, his life dreams/aspirations. He says things like, "You shouldn't change. I like you the way you are." And he says our conversations resonate with him unlike other students'. I don't get a creepy feeling but maybe I should distance myself. I enjoy talking to him, but don't want to cross any boundaries. I like the idea of him being a mentor figure in my life. Is it something more, though? How will I know?
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female
reader, The Girl with the Diver's Hair  +, writes (21 February 2011):
Ok i think you should definatley stop talking to this guy for a while. it could end in a pretty bad way and what if his girlfriend gets involved or some people from school find out and he could get reported etc. It can become VERY complicated.
It is good to have a mentor figure in your life but only ones you can feel that nothing bad will come out of it, no angry girlfriends or anything.
Whether you choose my advice, well that up to you. It may not make alot of sense but it could help you.
Good Luck
E
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011): A quick answer, no the relationship you have with your teacher is not normal. I think you should stop these conversations because i dont see it ending pretty.
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A
female
reader, MissVee  +, writes (21 February 2011):
Keep the relationship exactly as it is and it should not be an issue. It seems to me as if you are more mature than your classmates, and therefore he feels that you're "special", that you can actually engage in a proper conversation whereas people who are less emotionally-mature are not able to do so yet.
If you admire this teacher and get along well with him, there is no reason for you to distance yourself. In fact, friends come in all forms, sometimes even in the form of someone who is much older than ourself or above us in some way, as with a teacher-student friendship. Life just may have given you exactly the mentor you need, one who is seemingly not afraid to be honest about life and its sometimes less than pleasant aspects.
Would you be concerned if this teacher was female and you had the same connection?
So long as the relationship is appropriate (read: he does not try to make you act in a certain way, doesn't try to force his opinions on you and, of course, it is not sexual) I wouldn't worry.
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