A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I would like to know if it is possible for a man to have sex with a woman against his will? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): In my case I was introduced to sex at the age of three, by a woman. I am a 40 years old, single man now and still trying to figure out what is appropriate an appropriate way to deal with this and women at large.To examine.... Remember your first day at school when you were a child? There were the new faces of boys and girls in the wonderment of a fresh and beautiful exploration, the first big day at school! Every one was meeting each other and finding the knew toys to dig on, some making bonds that would last for years... remember? Now imagine coming into that first day of school already having fully experienced sex,. That's my weird story, and here's a result: the girls I grew up with from that first day onward always saw me as nervous and weird. I was weird, I was constantly in fear touching them and when I did the arousal made my little mouth water. I was always drawn to the feminine body, and I didn't know why but I was smart enough to realize it was not normal. I was afraid of the girls' bodies and it kept me form knowing anything about the childhood innocence that the bodies held within. I was a creep, and the more I got rejected and scolded by the female classmates, the shier I got.Yes, a man can be raped by a woman, an many boys are too. It screwed me up for life.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007): Arousal does not eqal consent. Very true for either gender.
But if a man doesn't want sex he can generally overpower the woman and remove himself from inside her physically. So male rape isn't very common. Except for cases where the man literally isn't strong enough to remove the woman, or he is just scared to do this for fear of physical abuse charges (yes it can happen).
What if the man was "raped" in the sense that he didn't want the sex, but the woman physically forced herself upon his erect penis until he conceded to helping finishing it rather than get violent & push her off? Well . . . That's getting into more of a second-degree-rape gray area. Sorta like women who don't consent but also participate once the man physically pushes the start of sex.
The courts would probably never recognize this secondary thing as a form of "rape." Although they probably should, because they will often charge a man with rape if the situation were reversed.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (11 October 2007):
 I agree that it is not usually the case that a man gets raped against his will...by a female. By I still say this....many women will have sex, to a certain degree, and then decide not to go any further. If the man decides to go further, against the woman's will, her vagina is wet because they've been fooling around, he puts his penis inside, it's more or less rape. With that being said, if a guy is making out with a woman and she puts his hard penis inside her vagina, I guess it's rape too if he didn't want to do it.
Arousal doesn't equal consent.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (10 October 2007):
It can happen but is very unusual. There is statutory rape, economic rape, rape by trick, rape by drug and so on.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2007): yes, it can happen. for example, if a guys drink is drugged, and then some woman thinks she will take advantage of him, take him home, the whole time he is saying no.no.no. i think that would be rape.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2007): Arrousal doesn't automatically equate to willingness.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): Mr. Anon: No, I wasn't talking about a guy willingly doing it with another female with a guilty conscience. If I was saying that, I would have said that.
For EXAMPLE for all you people with very narrow-minds. Regardless of HOW stressed I may be from work, from a legal battle, from anything except say death and illness probably, I can get my penis hard just like that. HOW? There are males out there that have higher libidos than others. BY YOU PROCLAIMING that all males are the same in terms of hormonial balances, it simply and very utterly inaccurate.
It's just like saying, "Why is my friend J not nearly as sexual or wanting sex as much as my friend A?" BECAUSE they are built a different way.
Someone mentioned if their boyfriend or hubby is stressed, then he can't get his dick hard right? Well, that's not accurate for all men. My work is super friggin stressful, but I can get mine up just like that. EVEN if I don't feel like sex, it can get up.
As for the people who said that if their penises are hard, then it means they are willing. MOTHER OF BUDDHA! Wow! The ignorance of you people saying such things astounds me! It mind boggles the geebus out of me, wondering how in the face of existence did you come to that conclusion? (rhetoric)
FACT: the anatomy of a male is different than that of a females. I AM SURE that is quite obvious.
FACT: not all males react the same way when touched. Seemingly, not everyone realizes this either.
FACT: however, all males can get an erection if they do not have erectile dysfunction if touched and stroked in a repetitive manner continuously over time.
Want proof? Easy. Stress out your boyfriend till it looks like he's going to go hang himself, then tie him up to a chair. Lather your hands up with baby oil and stroke him off for 30 minutes.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): Martini- emotional/mental invasion? What you mean is that a man is attracted to another woman and has sex with her but he knows shouldn't... that's not rape, that's having an affair with a guilty conscience
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): No... If a man is aroused, his penis will become erect... and if he is aroused, he is ready and willing. When I'm stressed out, I can't sustain an erection (and if I'm about to be raped, I would be stressed!). Unless a woman jumps on his morning wood, the erection is there because he is attracted to her. Or, if she tried to have sex with his limp dick... but most men are strong enough to probably shove her off. It's HIGHLY unlikely that any man would be raped that way by any woman.On the other hand, a man can definitely be anally raped- which is what most (if not all) men mean when they say they have been raped. A woman could insert an object into a mans anus- in that way, a man could be raped by a woman.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): I really dont understand this one! How can a bloke do it against his will??? How does his penis become erect if he doesnt want to have sex? Or have i been missing the point for years. I cant see how it can happen.
take care
xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): Of course he can. But didn't you ask this question last week? Didn't you like the answers?
Or was it someone else?
Phil
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (9 October 2007):
 I don't think so. When my b/f isn't in the mood for sex, no amount of prancing, dancing or stroking gets him motivated for an erection. It just doesn't happen. On the other hand, if he is in the mood for sex, I pretty much don't have to do a thing. I think men have more control over their appendages than we realize.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): You know what they say, "You can't rape the willing". I think if a man has an erection, he's willing. He is no longer the victim in this situation.
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A
male
reader, Ozsong +, writes (9 October 2007):
 It depends on how much a man gets, if he is sexually satisfied, he would find it impossible to get an erection, if he isnt sexually satisfied then he cant control it, so yes it is possible for a man to be raped. It also depends on age, teenagers have much less control, as we get older it changes, I cant get an erection unless im atracted to the woman.
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (9 October 2007):
Sure it is possible. A womans vagina could become lubricated because she's attracted to someone. She has no control over that and would physically be prepared for sex. Mentally, it could be the opposite. So, if a man's got an erection, does that mean he absolutely plans on doing the act? If the vagina is wet, does that mean she absolutely plans on doing the act? No. It means the body is physically prepared.
I think men have a different view of sex. I think that generally speaking, a man suffers less if he was forced to have sex with a woman. We're just wired differently. Some men might be disturbed by it, most probably wouldn't.
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A
male
reader, harshbutfair  +, writes (9 October 2007):
 A woman could not have sex with a man without his consent.. it's so impossible it hurts me to even think about it.
A man can be raped by another MAN (and when you hear about male rape, this is what is being referred to). But a man cannot be "raped" by a woman. The concept simply does not exist in reality or indeed in law.
As to whether a man would decline to turn down a woman who offered herself on a plate to him, that is a very different question.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): To Ms. Anon who said "If it's against his will, I don't see how his penis would get erect?"
Having your penis rubbed usually makes it hard, especially if it has to do with someone whom a man would find attractive. However, don't forget that it is sexual instinct for a man to feel aroused when his cock is rubbed, maybe even get an erection at the sight of a nude person doing lewd acts. The thing is that you have to realize is the mental and emotional invasion that the woman has on the man.
Eg: Let's put into perspective. I am happily married and love my wife to bits. Some crazy woman from my past knocks me out and I wake up to find myself tied to a bed in a motel, my mouth stuffed with panty hose. The crazy woman comes out wearing something absolutely delicious. My dick will most likely grow hard instantly. However, I close my eyes and think about something completely different, even think about my wife, think about how much I love her. Though I have my eyes closed, the crazy woman peels my pants off and starts sucking me off.
Okay, now in a perfect world, in Ms. Anon's perfect world, a man regardless of how he's touched, should be able to keep his rooster limp for the moral sake of his marriage.
REALITY CHECK: unless a man has ABSOLUTELY 100% NO LIBIDO, as well as oh I don't know, a working penis, then sure, perfect world for all to live in. Go hug a rainbow. Fortunately, and unfortunately, men, as with women, do have a libido, and our bodies DO REACT to being touched. Guys, probably more so in favor of wanting sex than a female, but damn it, like I said, it's about the emotional and mental invasion.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (9 October 2007):
 yes it is possible. But very rare, are we talking about him being raped as in having an object inserted into his butt? Or him getting an erection and a lady taking advantage of him.
But you havent told us why you are asking the question?
It really sounds as though its been used as an excuse for infidelity ( in which case I think it a pretty pathetic excuse).
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2007): If it's against his will, I don't see how his penis would get erect?
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (8 October 2007):
 Yeah women get raped as well as men if this has happend to you or anyone you know it must be reported and councilling should an option as a victim of rape it can mess your entire life, dont be afraid its more common then you think
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A
female
reader, rachy-baby-helps +, writes (8 October 2007):
 Yes it is. It's not just females that can get raped. With the way the male anatomy is, he can get aroused despite the situation, and this leaves women able to do as they pleased.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2007): of course it is! boy or girl it doesn't matter.
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