A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:The guy who likes me is a ladies man and party boy and has slept with loads of girls, so although I think he's hot I am not interested. He has constantly been flattering me for ages to the point his friends make fun of him but Im just not into him that way. However, I dont understand why he likes me so much, like I am attractive (without bragging) but most of the girls he dates/sleeps with and then dumps are Instagram types who wear loads of make up, get fake nails and tans, etc. Whereas I dont even wear make up, just nice dresses and maybe lip balm.My friend said that he likes me because I am smart (I am going to med school). However I think that he likes me because I am "hard to get," we are friends so I support him emotionally but do not chase him and I know lots of the other girls do. In fact once I was drunk and did flirt with him but then apologised and took it all back in the morning and he started sulking and did not talk for me for weeks. Do players prefer women who are hard to get????
View related questions:
drunk, flirt, player Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (13 April 2021):
 He's a friend, and he should stay being a friend. He's a player and he's going to continue to be. I don't think that he finds you to be particularly amazing, he views you in the same way that he views many other females. Perhaps you're a challenge to him. A level to beat. Someone to conquer. A type that he probably hasn't experienced before hence he seeks to conquer the challenge and add you to his list of many names, a notch on his belt if you will. Now, this is not to say that you're unattractive, or that the fact that you're smart matters none, these are important things. Just not to him. Don't fool yourself into thinking that you're the special one... He probably doesn't see anything special about you. You and your other friends see those things in you because you guys know how to love and appreciate people and their good qualities. He doesn't appreciate anybody. He's an opportunist. He will continue on his merry way and fill his bed with a random female or two every night until he can get you. Then once he's had you, he will revert back to his old ways. Nothing about this screams potential to me. Nothing about this tells me that he takes you seriously. To answer your question, I find that players do not have a preference, some do not even have a type. They will be with any willing participant that walks on two legs.
A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (12 April 2021):
 I think that you should pass him by and forget about him.
He is keen on you because he has not yet slept with you yet. You are attractive, your going to med school. So he is enjoying the thrill of the chase with someone that quite frankly is out of his league.
Once he gets his way with you he will cast you aside leaving you feeling used, and wondering what you did wrong. This is what players do.
Don't give him the satisfaction OP, he will let you down.
You will meet lots of interesting people when you go off to med school, and who knows, you may even meet someone nice who is not a player.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 April 2021):
 Players prefer someone with a pulse who is willing.
They might have a type they "bed" and a type they want to "wed". Just like ANY guy (girl) our there.
If he has slept with LOADS of women, then generally he doesn't HAVE to do a lot of work to get the sex. If you are there and attractive, of course, he is going to try and see if he can "get" you too. Just another notch in the bedpost.
No, OP you are not "special" in his eyes. You are a challenge. And I BET you if you are out in a group and you don't play along or flirt back he will pick up another woman fast for sex.
There is a reason you stay clear of him (in a romantic sense), STICK to that.
For one HE is a player. And secondly, he is in the friends' group. Don't "shot where you eat" that goes for "don't date in the workplace and don't date in your friends' group. Thirdly, he is a walking STD. The more partners you (or he) have the more likely he will catch something like HPV and spread it around. Since you can't TEST for HPV, there is no guarantee that he doesn't have it. While men CAN get genital cancer from HPV it's rare but WOMEN are far more affected by it. Now there IS a vaccine but it doesn't cover all types of HPV and still good to have had.
Stick to just being friends.
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (12 April 2021):
 You have a gut instinct for good reason: to warn you when something is not as it appears and to keep you from going there. Listen to your gut.
The fact you are wondering why this guy is making a big play for you makes me suspect you are weakening in your resolve not to be another notch on his bedpost. Are you looking for someone to say he has probably got tired of playing the field and is now looking to get serious with a "smart" girl? While this COULD be true, we don't know him. You, on the other hand, have a good insight into his personality and you already suspect he is only pursuing you because you are a challenge. Players tend to enjoy the chase far more than the actual "prize", hence dumping girls as soon as they have succumbed to their charms.
If I were you I would concentrate on getting through med school and, hopefully, you will find yourself a guy who doesn't use women to add to his trophy count. Don't assume YOU can change him; all the previous girls probably thought that too.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2021): Typo corrections:
"He knows you find him attractive; and he now feels the game is on!"
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2021): Players are usually narcissists, and quite confident in their conquests. They don't have to be smart, just cunning and persistent. They are outgoing, full of flattery, and BS!!! Their charisma is legendary, but not as legendary as it is in their own minds!
Their reputations are built on their sexual-prowess, and we all know at least one guy in our social-circle who's known as the "studly-playboy." The infamous good-looker! The one who gets all the girls...or guys! Yes, there is a gay-version! He hunts for prey, and reigns high on the food-chain among heartbreakers in the gay-culture as well! Straight or gay, they want to hit as many booties as they can; because that's how they roll!
You might be more of a challenge, but he knows there's a soft-spot. You gave yourself away by flirting when you were drunk. He knows you find him attractive; and he now feels the game in on. The hurt-feelings and pursuit is all an act. He figures you're flattered by the chase; although you're not particularly impressed. He'll abruptly stop, and you'll suddenly wonder why? Trust me, he's counting on that. He's experienced and has earned the title of "player."
It's best to avoid his type, girlfriend! He will pull-out every scheme and weapon in his arsenal.
Don't over-estimate his success levels. He didn't always seduce those women he boinked or objectified. They came willingly, and they were his female-counterparts. They played him just as much as he thought he got-over on them! Women aren't always victims. They know exactly what they're doing, and they don't wear the heavy makeup, spike heels, and three-inch glamor nails for Sunday school. Some avoid the double-standard of slut-shaming; by pretending they got played. When the truth is, they just wanted their chance to hit that smokin' hot boy-toy all the girls are talking about. To see if what they've heard is fact or fiction. That game goes both-ways.
You can't feel you're hard to get when you've admitted he's hot, and you've flirted with a known player. He has too many other options to really be that worried whether or not he'll ever conquer you. That's just their over-confident conceited way of thinking. "Hard to get" is usually a game you play; until you're got! If you're not interested, don't tease. He's patiently waiting for you to slip!
Mind your behavior when you're intoxicated around any man. Players are not the only predators out there. Opportunist will strike when they know your guard is down; and you're not in full control of your faculties and inhibitions.
You said you are friends, and an attractive-woman. That's reason enough for him to set sites on you. You don't need makeup and "hoochie-skirts." You're female, and that's all she wrote! It isn't some kind of compliment, nor any indication he has any special feelings. You're just another female he sees as a potential target; when you're in a party setting. Don't be fooled! These charmers are pretty good at what they do; and they are surprisingly patient.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2021): No, they just like women they can charm easily and wrap around their finger.Once they have succeeded, they will have sex with them. That is their end game. And yes, it all a game to them.The woman they FOOL into thinking they "CARE" will then develop feelings for these scum bags. And by that time, they will have moved on to charming another woman to get into bed. And leave you devastated and heart broken because they LIED to you all along. All they EVER wanted from you was SEX. All they ever want from ANY girl or woman is SEX.So, please don't even go there. Who gives a damn what the player thinks? You are much too young to be misled, hurt and abused by immature, insecure and selfish little boys!!You say you are a smart girl? GOOD. Now be smart and stay away from this JERK. Go to med school and do well. You have a whole future ahead of you sweetie. Don't get involved with someone like this and mess it all up. Most of all, don't allow him to MESS YOU UP!!!!That is the advice I would give my daughter.Been there, done that.
...............................
|
