A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear all. Your thoughts please! In brief, My bf and i have had a rather hard work relationship. We were together for 16 months. Things got worse,and he kept ignoring me for up to 3 wks at a time. In the end he said it was ok. I was like,ok. Then he texted the next day.saying he still wanted to be freinds,and that he'd been stressed. I decided it was best for me to cut all contact. I changed my number, went on holiday,and felt like hell. I went cold turkey. That was 5 weeks ago. To my surprise he emailed me out of the blue telling me how much he loved and missed me,and how sorry he was for any hurt he caused,and please can i forgive him,and that he wanted to see me. I replied in a neutral tone saying we could meet up. I still have feelings for him,but not as strong. He then bombarded me with more emails,and notes posted through my door,and keeps pestering me for my new number. I don.t want to give it to him,as he used to hang up on me,and not answer etc,so doesn.t deserve it. I came home to 3 emails asking for my number today. He wants to meet me for a talk after work this week. he will have to email and arrange for now. Is it normal for guys to behave like this? What.s going on? I don't mind having a talk with him,but what's his motivation? How can he appear after a month of nothing,and come on so strong? What to do? Thanks. X
View related questions:
on holiday, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, mema  +, writes (14 November 2012):
 well u know what i've been through this and guess what the guy i used to know used to travel from city to another in order to see me just to be around and say sorry ,,, but really something changed in me i don't want him again ,,,,,,so don't take him back i know my answer is late as other friends answered but i wish u r not thinking to take him back u r doing great mistake for both of u , you because ur feelings changed and this is unfair even he is dumb ass and for him coz if he really changed u will be cheating him with ur changed feelings or u'll be sorry for giving him second chance and really he doesn't deserve ,, just get ur courage and say it's over
A
male
reader, tamperingtampaguy  +, writes (3 November 2012):
I think he was with another woman and for whatever reason things did not work out and now he is trying to fall back on you. It is just my opinion. I would move on.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk Guys and Girls I Met up with im. Well/ I have never seen a man so full of regret. He told me how sorry he was of the way that he has treated me, and how you ' never know what you've got until it;s gone' amnd that he was terribly sorry, that he loves me and misses me and is full of regert and was staring at me and upset and telling me he wnats us to get back togther and please can he have my new number and how he has had to have time to thik about things , but now realises how much he is in love with me etc etc etc. it was cringy and sad watching him behave like this. He was so scared of upsetting me , it was untrue. I saw a changed man, but for how long? I realised that my feelings were not as string for him and I had got alot stronger since we had split, as I had been through the pain barrier so to speak. he was nervous of upetssig me, and goin gout of his way to please me. I no longer feel excatly the same, but still like him, but have a caution and a strength about me now that he has obvsiously sensed. he is as soft as jelly. I dont know How I feel as yet, but do not want to get hurt again by him. I will measure it over the next few days.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 October 2012):
Honestly e-mail him back and tell him you can't met you after all.
Seems like he just want to yank your chain, to say JUMP and have you go :" how high?"
After that ignore his e-mails and ignore him.
There really is no point in wasting more time on this guy. He is 46 acting like a 15 year old.
Yuck.
Good luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (30 October 2012):
 I think that you are making the right decision, as long as seeing him after work is not too much for you and you give into him. Be strong and stand by your decision of not seeing him again, because its the right one.
Good luck
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answers Kenny and Cindy. Yes I agree with you. I actually don;t think this guy deserves a second chance. I also don't trust that he is being genuine. he wnats to pass by my workplace after work today and see me for an hour. I will let him speak, and also it mightg be good to see how far have come, I amy just take one look at him and think' I am SO OVER YOU!!' which is what I suspect will happen. My feelings have changed, and too much time has passed now.he may be genuine, who knows. I think i wont; be going back.x
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (30 October 2012):
 I agree with Kenny. It's either like he says, or...just an ego trip. Maybe when he dumped you he was expecting you'd be desperate to reconcile and would besiege him with calls and texts etc.,- and you did just the opposite. You moved on immediately and even changed your number. That must have taken him aback, and most of all now he is not in control of the situation : YOU have a phone no. which he can't reach, YOU can decide if keeping contact and how often etc.etc. He is a sore loser and wants to tip back the balance of power in his favour.
If it was hard work for 16 months... I'd say maybe now it's time to take a rest :). I'd even skip the talk, and just move on.
...............................
A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (30 October 2012):
Personally i would be inclined to move on and find someone else. He played games with you, ignored you for a month, hung up on you. Probally he was seeing someone else and he got ditched, now he is trying to claw you back. Whats to say if you started to see him again he would not do this again, my advice would be to not give him the chance and move on.
Good luck
...............................
|
