A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I've been with (lets say) Max for almost 4 months. For the past month and half our relationship has been long distance. I'm eventually meeting Max in end of August. When Max was here, we had such an amazing relationship and now that Max is gone, he hardly calls me or makes any efforts to call me. Weeks go by and eventually i'll make the effort to call. Its like of the 5 times i call him in a month, I'll talk to him 3 out of those times. Is this normal? Im so confused as to am i with this guy or am I not?
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male
reader, iateadonut +, writes (17 July 2008):
Sometimes my current wife has to leave for a few months at a time. I don't really like to talk on the phone, so I don't call much. I email her sometimes. I email her every day if I feel like she appreciates it.
Are you with him? He's coming back in August. You'll find out then. Until then, give him his space.
I know it's tough on you, and I really empathize. It's really hard to have someone you love far away from you. You'll just have to deal with his not talking to you on the phone. It could just be painful for him. Don't ask him. Don't pursue him besides the occasional email if you want, and find out how he feels in August. (If he's a coward, he won't tell you, and if he likes you, your constant asking will make him question whether he actually does.) You won't know before then, and pursuing the question sounds like it's going to hurt chances of a positive answer.
A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (17 July 2008):
Hi, It does appear that you are making the effort to keep the relationship going, and he is AWOL. If he is not calling you back, I would think that if if were me, then there seems to be a message there. He has either lost interest or he is just too busy to call you. If again, it were I, then do what I would do, ask him if he wants to be involved with you or not, and if so why doesn't he call you. Please be prepared if he says he does not want to be involved, and don't show your raw feelings when you talk to him. I have always said about myself, that if a person does not want to be with me, I certainly would not want to be with them, it is their loss not mine. So, ask him directly and stop waiting around for him to throw you a few crumbs, I think you realize what is going on. But let's wind it up or if he wants to go forward with you, I would advise him that you expect some participation from him in the reltionship or else there is no relationship, just you pulling at him for some attention, which he evidently has a problem giving you. Good luck to you in the future.
Take care always.
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