A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I moved in with my boyfriend a year ago with my two children. The problem is he is vey huffy, over the slightest of things and will huff for weeks...he goes off and sleeps in another bed and does not speak to me at all. is this normal?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2007): That's crap unacceptable behaviour. Regardless of why he does it, it is mean and cruel to you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): It sounds like you have an extra child on your hands!!! You need to chat to him and let him know that this behaviour is now example to be setting in front of your two kids. Is he jealous of them? Is he jealous of the time that you spend with them or the way you treat them? He sounds very immature. Is he younger or older than you? What kind of childhood and upbringing did he have? Spoilt - i bet! well have a chat and let him know that you are not happy with this kind of carryon and you do deserve better and should get it. You cannot carryon like this or you will be walking around on egg shells worrying when he is going to run off to the other room in the huff!! Life is too short and it very hard bringing kids up anyway without having an adult size version.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (9 November 2007):
There are reasons for his sulking and THAT'S what you need to get to the bottom of. You both need to communicate more. Try to spend some quality time together and find out more about what makes the other tick. He maybe finds that you spend more time with the kids than you do him or it might be that he's having pressure at work and doesn't know what to do. There are many reasons he could be going in these huffs, it's up to YOU to be take the lead and be sensitive and find out why!
Eve
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2007): I would guess that when he was younger he was a spoiled child who went off and stamped his feet if he didn't get his own way.
His behaviour isn't uncommon though. My daughter-in-law can go for months without speaking to my son, which drives him bonkers, and I'm quite sure she has no idea how close she's come to being divorced on several occasions!
He needs to grow up, I think. My partner and I have a rule that we never, ever, go to sleep on an argument and it's a good way to manage things. We both blow a fuse occasionally but by the morning it's all over and done with, forgotten, all sweetness and light once more as if nothing had happened. Perhaps you could suggest this to him.
Phil
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (9 November 2007):
I agree with Tellulah. I have what some may call a slightly 'artistic temprement' but I would say the length of these spells in particular is odd. You do need to get down to the nitty-gritty of what is setting him off here because without knowing what sets him off its hard to tell.
We all have different things that irritate us which may seem slight (whistleing for example really grates on me) but to let it affect you for weeks on end isnt normal at all (for somebody of any age in my opinion). It tends to suggest to me to be honest that there is some deeper underlying cause of his behaviour which you really need to sit down and talk to him about. Good luck and take care :).
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (9 November 2007):
Hi,
Well its normal for him by the sound of it. But I wouldnt say it was normal behaviour for a grown up really.
What does he get Huffy about, is it small things or the children, maybe. Have you tried talking a about this problem when he isn't Huffy?.
Really you need to get down to the nitty gritty and find out what sets him off.
XX
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