A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:It's now been about 3 week since my ex boyfriend broke up with me. We would talk occasionally through emails or texts the first week it ended but the past 2 weeks I've texted him almost everyday and he hasn't responded to any of my texts. I know I shouldn't be doing this but my thoughts are consumed around him. I keep thinking about all the good times we had, I replay the breakup and the events leading up to it, I constantly think about what I could have done or said differently and how he might still be in my life if I did. My obsessive thoughts then compel me to act on every emotion and impulse and I contact him. He was my first serious relationship. Is this normal behavior after a breakup?
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male
reader, firstlovelastlove  +, writes (24 February 2011):
 Yeah, I think it's pretty normal to feel the way you do. What you're doing with these feelings should change though. In time it probably will or you could just start right now. I agree with aunt honesty, contacting him isn't a great idea. I think you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Just think how nice it would be if sometime in the future when you're not thinking about him he just pops up to say hello. Give your heart and mind a rest. I wish you well.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 February 2011):
 It can be normal behaviour yes, but it is not the right track to go down. You need to accept that he is no longer your boyfriend and that he is no longer in your life. The more you keep texting him the further you are going to push him away. You both need time apart to get over each other and move on with your life, but while you keep texting him he will only get angrier and angrier with you as he is trying to move on with his life just like you should be. Instead of texting him talk to a friend or a member of family about how you feel. Get them to comfort you and be a shoulder for you to cry on. But hunny if you keep trying to contact him you will end up just being more hurt. You need to now concentrate on accepting that it is over between the both of you, lose contact with him and start getting your life back on track. He is not texting you back which is a big sign that he does not want you to contact him. No contact is the best way to get over someone. Goodluck sweetie.
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A
female
reader, meldana +, writes (24 February 2011):
First off, Yes this is a normal response. Everyone goes through the same feelings of regret mourning and what-ifs of a past relationship. As for the texting... sounds like he is doing a no-contact withdraw.
What you need to do is to delete his number from your cell and block everything that reminds you of him.
Next, find out what you like to do and just do it with a bunch of friends.
If you want to cry or if you want to scream/break things go to the dollar store and pick up some glass ware and break that.
Make sure that you have some vitamins cause if you let it sink in that you are no longer in a relationship you might not want to eat.
As for the thoughts, think of all the bad times in the relationship and not just on the good. If you still find that you can't stop thinking about him try to focus on a task in your mind. Switch gears and think what needs to be cleaned/organize/etc
Well, the only other thing I can reconmend is to surround yourself with friends.
(Also stay clear of relationships until you feel ready)
Chin up, you dodged a bullet and can now find a relationship worthy of you.
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