A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A few months ago I met a guy and am now in a wonderful relationship with him. The problem I'm having is I feel majorly depressed if I don't get to see him for a day or two.I wasn't even looking for or particularly wanting a relationship. I've had one long term relationship before of a number of years. I have friends, work and other interests. I just want to see him but wonder if this is a bit odd. I feel majorly down when I don't get to see him. I mean I'm coping just fine but I feel really sad when I'm not getting to see him.I'm an otherwise well adjusted mid 20s guy. I'm not used to feeling like this. Is it just love, or am I obsessed or something?
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (30 August 2010):
 It's rather unfair to your love to make him your "everything". Other people can't fill up your entire existence or fill that 'hole in your soul'; you need to do that yourself.
If you make him the focus of your life and the only reason for your happiness; well, you can imagine if your bf treated you the same way - it would be a little clingy, right? We all crave our hearts desires and miss them went they are gone, but it should feel more like a warm hug and put a smile on our face when we think of them, not something that causes us to feel desperately lonely; after all; time moves on and we will see them soon.
It sounds more like you have a void in another area of your life that you are looking to fill; and instead of filling what's missing, you are focusing on him.
What in your life have you been avoiding, or is stagnating because you are focusing on him instead? Are you stuck in a rut? Job boring? Need a career change? Whatever the thing is; you should figure it out and focus your energies there; in doing this there will be more of you to love and you will be a more interesting and well-rounded person to your lover, and you'll be happier in your own skin! XXX
A
female
reader, HOLLY452  +, writes (30 August 2010):
Your not obsessed hun, you probably just really like having him arond enjoy his company, if you get on with someone and havent had someone around finally when you do get it, it's nice and hard to let go for a couple of minutes let alone couple of days, but still before you do fall into the trap of missing him to the point you want to be unseperable, then i suggest you start doing something to fill the time your not together, maybe gym, swimmging, something just so your not sat around wondering what his up too, if his thinking about you, you said your lucky enough to have a good socail life ect, be thankfull for it, look at all the positives babe, now you just have a new fella to add to them, but make him some of your ime not all of it, good luck sweety holly x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2010): May be he makes you feel insecure somehow.You probably like him a lot, but still it's not the reason to feel so much lonely when he is not around. Analyze it a little, why you feel like this around him.
Ive had relationships like this, but only when a guy acted distant toward me in some way, i had a feeling that the minute i left his house i won't see him again. That he won't call ever again, and that i said smth.wrong.
I never wanted him to leave my site just to be sure i have him. Then time passed, and i kept on seeing him, now it's been 3.5 years, my fear is gone, since he is obviosly not going anywhere. I am not obsessed anymore about seeing him every day.
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