A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy a few years back, I was out with a friend and one of his friends came to talk to my friend and he just kind of sat there. But we did talk and come to realize we have way more in common then we thought we would. I gave him my number and wed always talk but it never went anywhere. A few months ago he'd always ask me out and id always cancel and make other plans, I think my problem was that I was just afraid. One night he came out for my friends bday and me and him actually spend the night together. However, the following night my friends saw him with some girl and I confronted him about it but his response was that he didn't think we were that serious.After talking it out we were fine, because at the end of the day it's not like I was an angel either. A few times when I was supposed to meet him somewhere id always either leave with another guy or have my ex meet me. So it was fair game. However, this last month I feel like I've completely fallen for him. My problem is that he Is currently out of the country due to business and will be gone for the next 7 months. before he left he told me he'd love to make him his girlfriend however he didn't want to make me feel trapped in a long distance relationship. At the time I agreed and we ended it at that. But I know deep inside the reason he didn't want to committee to me was because he didn't want to feel any guilt doing things he shouldn't.We talk almost daily, its really hard because its a nine hour difference so when my day begins his comes to an end. I really like him and I wish I knew this sooner, but now I feel like its too late.My question is should I tell him how I truly feel? should I show him that I actually like him? or should I just let him go? Deep inside I feel like he's just not a relationship guy due to him lifestyle but I really like him and I feel like its just different with him?I don't know if I should just let him go and see if I meet someone else or if I should just focus my energy on him and see where it goes? even though he's on the other side of the world? please help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (30 August 2017):
You say that you know he doesn’t want to commit so he could “do things he shouldn’t.” The distance isn’t the issue, or the time difference. Both of these are temporary obstacles; anything can survive 7 months if it’s worth fighting for. The issue is that you know deep down that he’s not relationship material. You acknowledge this twice in a single post. So why are you hanging on? I expect you’re stringing this out hoping for the Eureka moment that he wakes up and realises that he feels the same way as you and wants the same things. But how long are you prepared to wait for something that might never happen?
I think you actually know the answer to your question. It’s best to forget this one and move on I’m afraid.
I wish you all the very best.
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