A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm seeing a guy from work who has a busy work schedule and I only see him when he is in the area on business. There is a strong attraction but I cant help but think has this got a future. Sometimes I feel like im settling for the crumbs off the table rather than a relationship where the person is there for me on a regular basis. The guy does contact me for a chat when he is away on business but never tells me how he feels about me he says i should know that he is attracted to me and fancies me. is this just lust? Whats other peoples views on this? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (18 July 2007):
 I hate to say it, but sounds like this guy has his feet firmly planted elsewhere. The lack of being unable to express anything about how he feels about you smacks of disinterest. To say he is attracted to you and fancies you, isnt exactly stirring stuff and even if he was the kind of man who just cannot find the words, he would indeed show you in his actions, if he was really into you.
The main thing is that you are not happy with the way things are. You have obviously tackled him over how you feel, and by the sounds of it, he hasn't given you a satisfactory answer. It's really annoying and dissapointing to not get the answers you need and the sad fact is, you absolutely cannot make him give you those answers if he doesn't have anything to say.
Men are usually very determined to go after what they want, and they will do it persistently, even the shy ones will hold on and find a way to get what they want. You don't say if you have a sexual relationship with this man, but if you have and he is now acting like this, then thats maybe all he wants. I am so sorry to say that sweetie but its just how it looks to me.
What I would say is focus on yourself, what you want and what you are prepared to accept as 'happiness'. I doubt he will change, you already tried to spell it out to him. If you can tolerate how things are, then stay with him. If you can't...then break it off and go find someone who has more time for you.
The best of luck to you.
Aunty Em x
A
male
reader, DJ8433  +, writes (18 July 2007):
 Most men very seldom "tell you how they feel", i'm not saying it's true for all men, but you should expect it is. If you want to find out how he feels, you're going to have to ask him. If you want to know, ask him if he has a girlfriend or a wife. If your o.k with the contact your having, then enjoy yourself. You can't get answers from him if you don't ask, and you can't expect more if you don't tell him what you want.
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