A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there....I dont know how to put this across. I think my bf of 2n half yrs might be cheating or has been cheating on me. A few months back, he got a txt late at night so i asked him who it was from, he told me " its Kyle from work" so i believed him but something kept telling me he was lyin. he had been txting this person for a few hours. So i waited til i had the chance and checked his phone, i know a shouldn't have but i had to. He wasn't texting Kyle but was texting a girl from work and when i asked him why he lied to me he said that he was texting Kyle but this girl texted him asking whos number it was and they were chatting but the texts i seen wasn't just chat. 1 night i wasn't well and was crying with pains in my side and stomache, he didnt care as he was texting this girl, i asked him who he was texting and again he said someone else from when in fact it was this girl again. That same night, He told her in a text that he has and always will have time for her.But wasn't and isn't there for me when i need him. We have argued about this girl for months and months now. He told me they dont have any contact anymore but i get the feeling hes lying. Also i have just found out yesterday that hes been looking and chatting to a girl on a website, but when i asked him about it last night he said he wasnt. I'm i just being paranoid? i don't know what to do ! I think about it all the time and its tiring me out and making me very emotional.Please please help!!
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female
reader, Butterflyfly +, writes (18 July 2007):
 You have been upfront with him and he knows you dont feel comfortable withthis texting. your next step is to take some time away from him, you dont deserve this torment!! his attentin is obviously somewhere else and it sounds that he wont even realise you could leave him. so just do it.
A
female
reader, Jeni09  +, writes (18 July 2007):
I agree with the above statement, having been through the same situation myself. You need to distance yourself. It is extremely hard, but necessary. He has already proven to that he can't be trusted to tell you the truth. if he is lying about texting, what else is he lying about? What other proof do you need? Believe you don't want to stick around and find out the ugly truth. It makes it ten times harded. Don't let him have the satisfaction. Take care of yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2007): I hate to be blunt but you've seen the texts, he's not telling the truth. I am a great believer in intuition - and you should use yours. He sounds very immature. I am also appauled at how texting between so called male and female 'friends' these days causes so much heartache amongst couples. Before mobile phones we had no such problems! Give him an ultimatum. The texts are upsetting you - he stops or you are leaving him. You deserve better than to be stuck in a relationship where a guy does not care whether you are hurting. You have every right to not believe him. I wouldn't either. Take a tough line for your own esteem.
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A
male
reader, DJ8433 +, writes (18 July 2007):
 I suggest you start getting your heart and head right. I mean get control of yourself, and prepare for a breakup. You can start by putting some emotional distance between you and him. If you feel like you are being lied to, you probably are. Trust your gut on this one. He doesn't sound like much of a man anyways, so don't be surprised if he blames you for a breakup. Who cares. You are only in control of yourself, much like he is of himself. If he wanted you he would treat you like a Queen, not sneak around like a weasel.
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