A
female
age
51-59,
*em222
writes:Please help! I have been dating a scorpio guy on and off for two years and I am still lost. At the time we met in May 2008, we had just left our respective partners. He told me he wasn't ready to get serious because his last one lasted five years. I thought that was ok. I did help him pay his car note in the month of July and August when he abruptly lost his job. By end of August 08, he eloped and married a drug addict prostitute in town. they moved to Texas. That didn't last and he moved in another woman, and for some reason, that didn't last and he returned to the town where we met. His whole family kind of adopted me and we remained very closed. When he returned september 09, we started talking but I told him I couldn't trust him. He came at me with the same story, I'm heartbroken and don't want a serious relationship. The next thing I know, he called me end of november 09 to tell me he found his soul mate and she wants him to cease talking to me. I told him I was happy for him and that he can go find happiness. On christmas eve, at 3am, he called and wanted me to pick him up because his new found soul mate is a psycho. I refused to do that. When he came back this time, we started dating. While he looked for work, I helped him out with food, transportation, and his bills. When he finally found a job, I had to buy his suits, and other work clothes. He would not help offer to help with any supplies for the house or refill my gas after he uses my vehicle to hang out with his friends. He never invites me out. He'd cancel what ever plans we've made just to go hang out with his many mysterious friends. Whenever I want to tell him how I felt, he shots me down and won't listen; instead, he says that's why I don't want to hang out with you. I decided to tell him I needed emotional commitment from him. I refuse to continue in a one-sided relationship. I need a stable relationship and accountability. He said he was not ready to get committed because he has been heartbroken by other women. I told him to leave and that he should not dare come back if he is not ready for a relationship. His own mother advised me to kick him out!!! My question is, does he really love me or he is just using me until he gets his next new flame? Why does he keep coming back even when I kick him out?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2011): He does love you, but Scorpios are very much control freaks. They want their space and be able to do what they want but they want you there to take care of them. Their friends sometimes seem to be more important than the one they love.I was involved with a Cancer/Scorpio man for two years. We lived together. He was out every single night hanging out with his friends, left me home alone, would always call while he was out to check in on me. But he never let me meet very many of his friends or he would never even take me out. He would tell me that I could go out with my friends but when I did, he would follow me to where I was going. It was a lonely existence for me. I broke up with him after those two years.Now I find myself again being involved again but with a true Scorpio. They're sweet, loving, and very sexy but the control thing can be too much. This guy was in prison for 30 years and just got out two weeks ago. We've been involved for two years, though. I'm trying to be understanding with him because he has to adjust to the outside world but he's doing things that are typical of Scorpio. Like he lives about 30 minutes from me so he calls me every night but I've only seen him twice in two weeks. And sometimes, he'll skip a few days and not call. He doesn't expect me to stay home waiting but yet if I'm not home when he calls and he calls back, he's asking me where I've been and why I wasn't home to answer the phone. He has lost his temper with me four times so far for the littlest things.They will test you mercilessly and torturously until they know for sure that you love them and you're going to be faithful and loyal to them. They can drive you crazy. I don't know what to tell you except that you have to be a very strong woman to put up with them.
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female
reader, PsILoveYou +, writes (1 June 2010):
 Hope you have fun in Dubai,Mexico and England!
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female
reader, pem222 +, writes (31 May 2010):
pem222 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am very pleased with all the responses I got on my question. Thank you all so very much!!! It is an eye opener. I will take all of your advice and take care of me. I just booked a last minute flight to Mexico for this friday and next month I am going to visit friends in Dubai and England. I just have to answer Dear Jilly's question about his background...He comes from a very respectable family, all middle class, christian, and educated people. My Ex is doing his masters in social work while I'm doing mine in Nursing. He seems to go for high school drop out street girls he finds in bars in stilettos.
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reader, DrPsych +, writes (31 May 2010):
 Astrological interpretations are not going to help you with this man...it sounds like he is having a permanent 'full moon' crisis. You are his surrogate parent/ social worker who is there to service his material needs - there is no love on his side (he only loves himself). Clearly he has serious psychological issues if he is unable to hold a job down or maintain a relationship. If his mother is giving you advice, please take it as she has years more experience of him than you! The basic fact is that he is a user - he takes what he wants and gives back nothing. He doesn't want a relationship with you - he wants your money, your accommodation, your emotional support in hard times. He isn't a particularly nice person - a leech in fact. But, people treat you as you let them treat you. He keeps abusing you because you keep opening that front door and picking up that phone no matter what he says. It is 'doormat victim' mentality (sorry to be harsh). You need to stop asking him for a relationship - I am not sure why you would want romance with a man with such a poor track record of relationships. It can only end up in heart break and there are other men out there who will treat you better if you demand to be treated better of course!
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2010): Dear Pem222,
I have read your question with some anguish. What an emotional roller coaster for you. NO this has nothing to do with this guy being a Scorpio or any other sign of the zodiac. He is what is commonly known as ' Emotionally Unavailable ' there has been numerous books written on the subject by eminent psychologists. I have also included a chapter in my own book on the ' TOXIC DATER ' which this man certainly seems to fulfil every tick on the list. These men are usually very manipulative, very charming initially, until they feel they may have to commit in anyway, as most normal adults would do.
What intrigues me,this man from your description is NOT exactly a real catch, eloping with a drug addict/prostitute. ALARM bells would be ringing loudly for me, on just just that alone, that tells me he is not a regular 9-5 guy without huge TRUNKS of baggage in tow.
What is his family background, work history, how many failed short term relationships has he had, and why did his relationships end, were they ALL with women who also have a lot of problems??
You also say you both had relationships that ended just before you met. If that is the case, then probably you were not in the right place emotionally perhaps to be choosing wisely. Still in an emotional dip, missing the stability of a committed relationship, even if it was bad towards the end. People are creatures of habit and have a tendency sometimes to jump back into another relationship soon after one ends. NOT good, this is a time when you should stand back, become a person in your own right, be totally single for a while, pay the bills, do things you've not done before, travel, new adventures, anything that makes you, YOU opposed to someone's wife, mother etc. That way we gain an insight into want we really want and like in a partner, and NOT end up with someone who may be totally wrong for us out of need to be in a relationship.
Perhaps ask yourself - WHY are you attracted to such a man?
Whatever you decide to do, I think you should stop helping out with bills, transportation. He has to stand on his own two feet and deal with problems he has. He has to decide to do that for himself, you can't change him. And no one can have a loving stable relationship with anyone unless they FIRST are fully emotionally functional on their own.
Really do hope you break away, hard I know if you have feelings for someone, but try to build a life for yourself as much as possible, and as you do that, and gain confidence
you will find it easier to see things differently.
Good luck!
Jilly x
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reader, CindyCares  +, writes (31 May 2010):
 He keeps coming back because you keep taking him back no matter what. And eveytime he comes back you buy him food, gus, clothing, anything he wants- and it's not like he has to do anything for you in change. He does not commit, does not invite you out, does not introduce you to his friends, does not listen to you, does not pay you back...he just keeps doing absolutely anything he wants, and you keep giving him money and help.
It's the sweetest deal ever for him- of course he keeps coming back !,what do you expect.
The real question here is why you keep taking him back, and why is your concept of love so warped that you have to identify all this mess with love.
Astrology has got nothing to do with it. This guy is born under the sign of the User.
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reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (31 May 2010):
He keeps coming back because you buy him whatever he wants and take care of him as if he's a child. You need to see this is a parent-child relationship. Just like when you need your mommy for supplies (food, clothing, shelter, and a pat on the back) then when you feel better you go do whatever you want and forget about mommy until you need something else. This has nothing to do with him being a scorpio or anything else. The dude is a loser and he's using you.
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reader, PsILoveYou +, writes (31 May 2010):
This is how my boyfriend used to treat me too. We are now just friends, but when that happened, I just let him go. He was using me the same way your bf is treating you. But don't blame me if I am wrong... I think he might be using you. But on the other hand, it's like he really needs you and your support. Maybe, in my opinion, you should find out who's he meeting up with and stuff. But plz don't blame me if anything goes wrong! That's what I did with my bf...For us it kinda worked out... Good luck! :D
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reader, vssia +, writes (31 May 2010):
Zodiac signs =/= Valid reasoning for behavior. If you don't like what he does, it doesn't matter if he does it out of love or not, he isn't for you.
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