A
female
age
41-50,
*neball
writes:I'm confused right now. my bf told me he needed space like one week.. is this breaking up with me in a polite manner or he just need a little time without me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, oneball +, writes (21 June 2011):
oneball is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your thoughts. it helped me affirm my feeling. appreciate it so much.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2011): He's only asked for some space, I thought? Are you on a break?It seems not. If it's just 'space' then you are still together, so i wouldnt go on this date. You may feel guilty afterwards, also, what are your motives for wanting to go, are you punishing him?Honestly, one weeks space is no big deal; some partners go for months without seeing eachother. I think you are over-reacting. So what if he seems cold, that happens sometimes. I dont think you should go, how would you feel if he went on a date in this week apart whilst you are havig space from eachother?This guy will probably still be interested if you break up properly and also, does he know that you and your guy are having problems and if so, why is he sniffing around you while you are feeling vulnerable? I think you should think about these things if you want things to work out with your bf. Good luck x
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (20 June 2011):
 when my bf and I had a fight we opted to "take a break" and one of the things we hashed out was if we could date/be intimate with others... "breaks" have to have rules "breakups" do not...
so you for sure can go out with a friend... but like Chigirl so wisely said... just friends... you are not in a position to be taking on as new boyfriend...
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 June 2011):
 Go on the date if you think it would be a nice time out. Just getting to know someone isn't a crime, and he's the one who called for a break anyhow. Just make it clear that all you're looking for in the time being is friendship, if the question is brought up on your date.
You wouldn't want to date anyone too soon after a break up anyway, if this indeed is the beginning of the end of the relationship. It takes time. But going out and meeting new people isn't harmful, and if you think you might enjoy yourself then go. You're on a break after all, and unless otherwise specified, you're close to single already.
But, to be safe, no kissing, no innappropriate touching, and definitely no sex.
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female
reader, oneball +, writes (20 June 2011):
oneball is verified as being by the original poster of the questionin this span of time that he asked for a space, somebody invited me out for a date. Now i dont know how to deal with it. Should i accept the invitation? should i talk to my bf first and clear everything between us? or go on a date without telling im anything?
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female
reader, SMARTERthaniappear +, writes (19 June 2011):
 When a guy asks for space its usually because he wants to break up but doesn't want to do it too quickly in case he changes his mind. Obviously something isn't working between you two. Are you acting clingy? I told my bf that when he was too clingy with me XD I wanted to really break up with him but that was a nicer version of tellin him that. That gave me time to think and than eventually I called it quits. Another answer is he's an emotional wreck. Maybe something has happened in his life that you don't know about yet and he doesn't know how to tell you. I'd ask him why he wants space. Maybe he'll feel comfortable enough to tell you =)
HOPE I HELPED ^.^
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female
reader, sweetiebabes +, writes (19 June 2011):
 I agree with Abella.
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (19 June 2011):
 That does sound very indecisive. He met you, suggested you go for coffee later, and you agreed. Then he sent you a text to cancel. He does seem to be all over the place. Don't hope for too much from this one. If you see him again then be polite, but busy. Like 'Hi X, good to see you, can't stop. Bye, ' and another time, 'Hi X, good to see you. Give me a call when you've worked things out. On my way to meet
friends. Bye'
If he does eventually make a time to meet for coffee (and that's alll he's getting while he's treating you like this) then ask him his intentions because he sure is giving you the run around and the impression of casting you away, at the moment. But he possibly lacks the courage to say so.
There really are many more fish in the sea if he can't recognise your true worth.
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female
reader, oneball +, writes (19 June 2011):
oneball is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the thoughts. It helped me go through with the situation. But on the fifth day we accidentally met in the mall. we greet each other quickly,then part ways. he texted me right after and invited me out for a coffee but last minute he cancelled due to family concern. Is this still part of the process? intentionally evading me still? i noticed he still still cold with me. your thoughts please...
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011): if he's said he wants some space for a week then thats probably all it is. Me and my bf have done this a few times and we both find it beneficial. Try not to freak out,just agree to it calmly or even say 'good idea,i was feeling the same way.' thatl stump him. Use the time wisely,dont text or call him too much (not everyday) and show him how independent and strong you are. If he has been thinking about breaking up,he will hopefully miss you and the space will have been a gd thing. Remember,all people need space and rships need it to grow.hope this helps x
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (18 June 2011):
Did he ask for space, or did he ask for a break from the relationship? Asking for a break is primarily asked for two reasons: a) you want to break up but don't know yet how to tell the other person, or b) you want to fool around with someone else just once without cheating... Because in popular beliefs, when you're on a break you're not cheating if you're with someone else.
Ask him if he wants to stay exclusive during this break.
The very last option is that he generally is confused about this relationship and doesn't know if he wants to be in one.. But this just takes you back to option a), as someone who doesn't know if they want to be in a relationship probably shouldn't really be in it.
If however, he asked for space and not a break from the relationship, it could be he is vey busy/going through some personal problems, and needs time alone. Hopefully in the future he will learn that one should include their partner in times of difficulty, not push them away.
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (18 June 2011):
He should be more forthcoming with you, and explain himself better. If he has a family crisis I am sure you would want to know. If he has a work issue or some studies he wants to concentrate on then there should be no problem telling you. He may even a personal issue he feels unable to discuss with you.
He may be rethinking the relationship the two of you share, prior to making a decision, one way or another.
It could even be positive news.
But yes, you are correct. Some men don't want the tears and want no 'scene' if they break up. So they resort to a variety of ways to 'breakup' without actually telling the girl the truth.
It's their version of 'trying not to hurt the girl' But it hurts the girl all the same.
In a week you should know the answer. If he comes back to you, then welcome him with open arms. in time you can ask him to explain what made him do it.
But if he does not come back to you, then you will know you were an astute judge of this guy. I hope the week of waiting goes quickly. Best wishes.
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female
reader, sweetiebabes +, writes (18 June 2011):
He needs space for himself to think of what he wants and think clearly. Give him the space and see what happens next.
Don't communicate with him, this will just add pressures to whatever he feels right now.
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