A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I joined an online dating app two weeks ago haha, put a few pics of myself up and filled up my bio which tbf was pretty detailed.Anyway I got a message out of the blue from this guy, not unusual ofc, but he lived like 5 hrs away (on the other side of the UK) which I found odd. He only had one pic up, a black and white one of his abs (no face or anything). When I went to his profile it isn't filled out like he was actually looking for anything just a load of random stuff about him. Nothing about the girl he wants at all and apparently he's open to chatting to girls from everywhere. When I asked him about the difference he said we could be penpals lol..?!We've been talkin about stuff we have in common like both being Spurs fans and we DO have great chemistry.. but he also let it slip many times that he was "a fan of BDSM." Now I'm not and nothin in my profile indicates that.. but this seems like a big redflag to me, to be messaging a girl so far away (I am also average looking), and then seems like he's targeting women for BDSM purposes. He has said some creepy things to me or at least overprotective like he "insists on physical affection" (albeit with winky emoticons). And he asked if I was on KIK which is an app for teenagers (apparently he's in his 20s like me..)Is the fact he has no proper pics up, doesn't seem to be actually looking for anything proper even with women from his area and says creepy stuff enough of a red flag? Apart from that he seems almost TOO nice sometimes like he's gushing over me and agreeing with everythin I say, he did this almost straight away and idk about guys who move too fast! Already started saying stuff like "I wish you were here with me" lol.
View related questions:
met online Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@CoreMessage - Yes, that was one of the major red flags for me, its odd that he has a very bad picture of himself up. Not even a "catfish" so much as dodgy for all I know he could be married or something just tryin to chat up girls online.
Think Ill just go out with friends and find a guy instead, great advice thanks. Online dating not for me :P
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@Youcannotbeserious - why are you being so rude? As I wrote in my post, we do actually have things in common such as supporting the same sports teams, hobbies etc. but that doesn't mean he's the ONLY guy who's hit on me there. In fact most women, even older less attractive ones, would get a lot of male attention on dating sites TBH - just the way OD works.
Obviously I've spotted the red flags which is why I've come here for advice! Some of my friends who've been on OD have said that it doesn't seem like such a big deal if we get on so well and have such long conversations, BDSM is common these days, etc. I disagree with them but wanted to run this past DC.
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (28 April 2017):
 How many more red flags do you need before you walk away from this guy?
Why are you wasting your time on him? Is it because nobody else has shown an interest yet so you think he is better than nothing?
This guy has targeted you for a reason. If I were you, I would not be hanging around to find out what that reason is but cutting contact with him.
PLEASE don't give him any personal details which would enable him to track you down.
...............................
A
female
reader, CoreMessage +, writes (28 April 2017):
 Hmm. With app dating, you have to be very careful that its not a catfish. I wouldn't recommend meeting him or even continuing this relationship.
He's into BDSM, which you aren't, so I don't think you two will work in the bedroom even if he is everything he says he is. If he's making you uncomfortable, stop. Go out with friends and find a guy
...............................
|
