A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A few years ago, I started working for a local buisness. I immediately fell in love with the job. The people I work with are so fun to be around and I enjoy going to work everyday. I'm 19 years old. There is an older 25 year old guy who also works there. I'll admit, I've had a huge crush on him from the first day I started working. He gave me a kind of flirtatious attention that I never really got from any other guy before. He was never creepy or weird at all, just very funny and always makes me feel good about myself. He has a great personality and when he comes into work, everyone is suddenly happy. However, he has been talking to me a lot ouside of work recently, and he suggested that he and I should have a sexual, yet casual relationship. I told him I didnt think it was a good idea and now work has been akward. I like this guy a lot and would seriously consider dating him but thats obviously not what he wants. Its hard to say no to a guy that you have feelings for. But I know he doesnt have the same feelings for me. I just dont know how to handle this situation. Is this guy a creep? I like being around him but should I try to avoid him now?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAll these answers have helped me so much!! Thank you :) He and I had a talk about how much we value eachothers friendship and how that is much more important. The workplace has been a lot less akward :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2010): i'm in a similar sitution. this guy has made sexual remarks to me online and in person, but he has said he will go on dates with me but he has never followed it through. so obviously i am sick of it. i want a relationship with him, not just sex.we havent actually ahd sex with each other though. to me, there is something creepy about just having sex with someone and dont doing anything else together, and its disrespectful. sex is the most intimate thing you can do, so if a guy wants to do something as intimate as that, why cant he have a relationship ?. surely sex would be a bigger issue ?. thats what i think anyway.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 May 2010):
 You know the expression:
Don't crap where you eat?
Same goes with dating and the work place :) You did the right thing. You weren't/aren't looking for a casual sexual relationship, so you said no thanks.
I would just back off from him a tad and keep enjoying your job. He will soon forget about it and find another girl to ask..
Maybe he isn't really used to being turned down :)
PS I don't think he is a creep, I think he was perfectly honest. He said up front that all he wants is sex.
He will get over it :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2010): You work with him so be professional around him.
Considering the way you feel about him I would have little to do with him as possible. One thing to watch is he may step up his, charm telling you what you want to hear to get that sexual relationship he wants with you, be careful.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (12 May 2010):
 It is only a suggestion from him and you do not agree with him. Keep that issue separate .
You should not feel awkward about it. People sometimes make ludicrous proposals .They may have misunderstood your personality.
Keep your distance and let him know where are your limits and boundaries.
You cannot avoid him when you work in the same place . You can still be civil to him and nothing more .
Do not give him any encouragement and he will soon pay less attention to you and maybe will look for another prey.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (12 May 2010):
 If he works where you are, and you enjoy the job, then you'll have to see him. But you can reduce him to the status of coworker.
Maybe he's not a creep but he obviously wants to use you.
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