A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone, im going to try and make this as short as possible. I’m 22 and I recently got out of the most horrible relationship I have ever been in 7 months ago. I started talking to this guy in September we have hung out a few times since then. But its strange like we talk off and on we will talk for a little while then stop talking then randomly start talking again. Well we have had sex 2 times already and right now I’m not really wanting a relationship because of the past relationship I was in.I’m afraid of getting hurt and I think every guy is like my ex. Well this guy I don't know how to explain it. He’s not like most guys I’ve met. He don’t always talk about sex, we have fun and tease each other a little on snap chat sometimes. We don’t hangout to often like movies, dinner and stuff like that because he works a lot and has a son and doesn’t get a lot of time to his self. and I work, go to school full time and have a daughter.Well anyway. I went to his house last night and we cuddled, we had sex and after we had sex we just laid there and talked about random stuff, for some reason he even showed me texts from his son’s mom and was telling me how she doesn’t ever come around and texts him here and there and tells him she misses them and stuff, and he talked about how she’s been on drugs and stuff. And before I left he kissed me. And when he kisses me he always, always touches my face. Says I’m pretty. And he’s always so nice. We’ve had sex twice and it’s not like, when I get there we go straight to sex we talk, we cuddle, kiss and then have sex. And the next day after we have sex he messages me. Is this friends with benefits or what? I’m not really ready for a relationship and I’m not sure if he is or not. He has mentioned that there’s been girls that have really liked him and wanted to date him but he wasn’t interested because it’s been him and his son for so long he’s not used to anyone else being around 24/7, he was married and got divorced and said he‘s been single every since which was about a year ago. Because every girl he meets just wants to use him or something. I don’t really know to much about friends with benefits. Other then you normally just talk only to have sex and that’s all nothing else.
View related questions:
divorce, drugs, friend with benefits, my ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 March 2016):
 No, when you only talk to make an appointment for sex it's a fuck buddy. Or a booty call.
Friends with benefits are supposed to be FRIENDS, not enemies with benefits or strangers with benefits.
There's nothing strange if someone who shares sexual intimacy with you can also stand the thought of spending occasionally a few hours just talking, or of showing you some affection. Sex does not dehumanize you ( at least it should not ). If someone does not want to be in a serious committed relationship , he/she does not have necessarily resort to random, alley cat-like couplings. He/she can still enjoy moments of tenderness, of closeness, of companionship- just not all the time, and not exclusively with one person.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (12 March 2016):
 Friends with benefits is anyone who you would not consider getting in a relationship with, introduce to family and friends with. People have their styles and act differently. Some are cold, and some are more affectionate. I've had a guy who would not share meals with me. When I said I was hungry I had to walk to Safeway myself. Then he just watched me eat. Another guy prepared meals for me. When he got tired we lied down together and watched cartoons.
It doesn't matter what his reason is, about not having much time to spend with you. He could be a very nice guy and still be friends and benefits. They are not all mean spirited, users who talk down to women.
Friends and benefits doesn't mean your feelings won't get attached. The moment you fall for a guy is the moment it won't work out anymore, unless the guy wants to try for a relationship. Even if you are not ready for a relationship, you will still get jealous if he starts dating someone seriously.
If you keep it really casual, it can be fun for like a few months max. The dilemma is if you get with a guy you like, you might wonder what it's like to have a relationship. With a guy you don't like much there's not much enjoyment to be had.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (12 March 2016):
 "... He’s not like most guys I’ve met..."
We guys depend upon you ladies to say - and think - this.... so we can be a$$es, just as your "ex-" was....
Women with short memories repeat and repeat their mistakes by saying, " He’s not like most guys I’ve met."
Don't give a jerky guy a chance. He doesn't deserve it... and YOU needn't put your heart out there for him to screw with it....
Good luck...
...............................
|
