A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am a 47 year old male that has been in a gay relationship with my partner for 3 years. A year into our relationship, I discovered he was frequenting video stores, having anonomous sex (he said no penetration, just jerking guys off), meeting people online, men4rentnow, erotic massages, etc. He had a yahoo account which I busted and discovered the truth after my suspcicions. We have been in couples counseling for the past 18 months. He rarely sees an individual counselor. I just discovered that he has a new yahoo account, has been back to video stores, looking for erotice massages online, having playtime with an old college friend, etc. When asked, he continues to deny that he is doing anything. He has been asked by me and our counselor if he wants an open relationship, but says no.I'm torn, please help. Is this the way all gay couples are. This is my first LTR. Many books say this is the way the gay world is. Just because he has encounters is o.k. as long as he is tied to me emotionally. Do I confront him again? Do I accept his behavior and move on? Do I leave him? I can't see his behavior changing as he has a problem does what many gay men do. To me, regardless of wheter emotions are involved, I still consider it screwing around and I feel betrayed, and the lies don't help.Any advice from anyone that has gone through this would be grateful. Thanks!
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male
reader, AvgGuy1 +, writes (23 January 2010):
Doesn't sound like he's the right guy for you. Time to move on.
A
male
reader, Ganymedes +, writes (17 January 2010):
Your guy sounds like a sex addict. He has a serious issue which will not just go away on its own. He has trouble with real intimacy and will continue to do so. My opinion is that you need to end the relationship, otherwise you are doomed to suffer. Also, he has no hope of recovery in the present situation, because you have not set proper boundaries within the relationship. I know its hard to see the big picture, but you're better off alone than in such a relationship.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2010): Gay or not this is unacceptable behaviour, move on and find someone who wants you and only you.
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