A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I were together for nine years and have one 5 year son together. We never got married (he never asked). He moved out on Valentines Day last year but had been emotionally detached for months. He started dating one of his patients (openly) 7 months ago. It is the same patient he used to talk about all the time and I even asked him if he had a crush on her. He always told me she was married. She got divorced a few months before he moved out. It has been one year since our split and I thought I was doing ok (just ok) and slowly healing. He just told me that he asked her to marry him yesterday on Valentines Day. I am devastated all over again. Is this a rebound relationship or something else entirely. He was still physically intimate with me until August 2009 (when he says they started dating). Your thoughts and advice please.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (16 February 2010):
 You can cut contact but that is too simple of an answer with no disrespect to CaringGuy. With the son involved if he doesn't want to see him anymore then fine but your ex still has to support this kid and you should make sure of that. Also if he is still interested in being the father figure then you too will have to find away to put this aside for your sons sake.
As for his new relationship it's probably not a rebound. Guys will emotionally remove themselves from the relationship long before they end it. So technically when he said that it was over he had already gone through the stages of realization that its done.
I'm sorry to hear all of this but make sure you take care of yourself and child, even though you were not married you still had a common law relationship and your best bet is to go see a lawyer.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 February 2010):
Cut contact. It's clear that unless you do, you're going stay hurt for a lot longer. Be brave and cut contact with him.
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