A
female
age
,
*OXY BROWN SUGAR
writes:My spouse is a few years older. We have an active sex life, but however, there are times that he has a hard time reaching an orgasm. Is this a normal part of aging for men? Is there any lubricant or any recommendation that will assist him in achieving a faster orgasms? PLEASE DON'T SAY ORAL SEX!!! DONE THAT...
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lubricant, oral sex, orgasm, sex life Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 October 2014):
 He should discuss this problem with his urologist, or , better, his andrologist, and they may have suggestions about what will HELP improve things.
But, basically, getting " frustrated " about that it's a bit like getting frustrated because his hair are thinner now, or his muscular mass less, than when he was 25. Some thimgs, just don't stay the exact same.
A
female
reader, FOXY BROWN SUGAR +, writes (23 October 2014):
FOXY BROWN SUGAR is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo you are saying there is nothing on the market
that will alleviate this problem? It is just, he gets so frustrated when things do not go as planned.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (23 October 2014):
 Orgasms become less frequent in our 'sunset years" the prostate gland creates havoc. It gets larger making frequent urination a problem AND it produces less semen than ever before so there's no pressing urge toejaculate something that's not there. In fact, the orgasmic convultions can actually be painful. Try spiting while your mouth is dry. Sadly age begins to rob the body but the mind is still willing. a competent urologist can help but it's my understanding not by much. It's just not fair. When you're young, girls run from you out of fear of getting pregnant. Older women seem to be getting more in tune with their bodies about the same time the male prostate goes south.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (23 October 2014):
Yes, it is normal. Aging changes sexual response in both genders.
Some men may have trouble in reaching or maintaining an erection, some have " softer " erection than when they were younger. Some have less contractions durng orgams, ... and some need more time to reach orgasm and at times they don't at all.
All of them have longer refractory periods, i.e an 18 y.o. kid may be ready for a second round in about 5 minutes, while a man his 50s will need 10-12 hours and one in his 60 maybe even 24 .
Aging changes things :)- and not necessarily for the better.
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A
female
reader, FOXY BROWN SUGAR +, writes (23 October 2014):
FOXY BROWN SUGAR is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, he does suffer with BPH and is currently using medication to alleviate the symptoms. Thank you Fatherly Advice... you are right on point.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (23 October 2014):
 Viagra or Testosterone will not delay ejaculation, but a prostrate infection would. Testosterone therapy can cause BPH you need to watch that.
FA
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A
female
reader, FOXY BROWN SUGAR +, writes (23 October 2014):
FOXY BROWN SUGAR is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to all for the prompt responses. I will consider your recommendations and experiment with the sex toys and extended foreplay... I have observed that on weekends we both are much more relaxed and spend a lot of time focusing on pleasing one another. I should have mentioned he gets testosterone injections bi-weekly and also uses viagra. With this said, he is always ready. Will these cause orgasm delay? A few months ago he was not feeling well. We went to visit his PC. He was diagnose with an infection of the PROSTRATE. He was put on antibiotics and taken off the injections during that period. Reaching an orgasm was a lot less stressful and just came naturally.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (23 October 2014):
 Guys love vibrators too! Getting a vibrating fleshlight for sex play between the two of you, or getting a magic wand or anything like that (vibrating rings are wonderful!) will send his senses through the roof!
You're right in that oral isn't a panacea, though if done well is exquisite feelings for him. But just like some women find it hard to orgasm without vibration, men can be the same way, especially with advancing age.
Also, getting a vacation and going into a new location can spice up the sex life and fend off routine.
Learning new techniques like the kama sutra or taking yoga and practicing kegels together will make orgasms more intense for the both of you!
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (23 October 2014):
Foxy,
That's an interesting question. You are right Oral sex is not likely to speed things up. With age there can be a lessening of sensation. The same potions that help women will help men. but . . . .
That is probably not the best place to start. The more likely answer to your question is stress and distraction. He probably just needs to relax and forget the world for an hour.
That's one idea. Another could be boredom. Is there a longer list of things you WON"T do? Or is it just oral? If you have shut down all areas of exploration he may be bored with the same ole same ole.
Another idea is that he is having some performance anxiety. You wrap up and are laying there saying hurry up, which makes him feel inadequate and raised his stress (see above).
My first suggestion is more foreplay. and I mean PLAY. Get his mind off work and on to you. Get him half way there before you mount up. Make it fun.
My next suggestion is to ask him, and then listen with an open mind. Don't rule out the answers before he says them.
FA
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