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Is this a long time to have gone without having sex? I feel... distinct.

Tagged as: Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 March 2008) 8 Answers - (Newest, 6 March 2008)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I'm uncertain about something.

I've gone without sex for 10 months and I'm starting to feel a LOT of withdrawal. Feels like I'm the only person on the planet that isn't having it.

It got me thinking... is 10 months a long time to go without, in comparison to everybody else. I'd like to think some people have had to go a lot longer without it, but I know full well that there are lots of people who wouldn't have allowed themselves to go without sex as long as I have.

How long do most people go without sex? What can I do? Let me make it clear I'm not just wanting somebody to have sex with. I want a relationship of course... Sex just happens to be something that I've not had for a long time as a result of that.

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A male reader, Passthrough United States +, writes (6 March 2008):

Passthrough agony auntI'm at about the same mark, I rely on ___-jobs and myself mostly :-P I broke up with my last girlfriend last spring, and my current girlfriend is under lock and key :-P

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A male reader, Dazzerg United Kingdom +, writes (6 March 2008):

Dazzerg agony auntA month over 2 years here...its not that everybody else is getting it and you aint, its that your awareness of things is enhanced by your lack of it...as is your awareness of the sexual conotations of innocent things....

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A female reader, ErinPatterson United States +, writes (5 March 2008):

ErinPatterson agony auntIt has been 3 years for me. Since my last boyfriend. I think it's just one of those thing's.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008):

A year and 3 months here! (not that Im counting or anything!) xx

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (5 March 2008):

DoubleM agony auntSome people go years, supposedly even lifetimes, without having sex with another person, but whether they admit it or not, most everyone at least occasionally relieves themselves in one way or another.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008):

no it's ok - i've gone without sex before ( i love it/have a high sex drive) in a way i think it's good for us not to have it for a while sometimes, if you know what i mean - at least you're not out just sleeping with people just for the sake of it - i personally think that when some men get sex too easy all the time they don't cherish it when someone nice comes along - kind of take it for granted - i actually read somewhere that the longer the body goes without sex the longer the body gets used to it and our drive lowers/adjusts accordingly?? my partner went without sex for long periods in his life and i know other guys who have gone without it and were cool about it (not saying they didn't miss it but it was no big deal either) and i know other guys who had casual sex cos they wanted it so i guess it is down to the individual - re withdrawal, is is just the sex, or all the companionship and cuddling up etc that comes with it - sports/gym etc can be good for the pure physical outlet/withdrawal - i'm no expert, just sharing a few thoughts and experiences - hope you find a lovely girl to have a relationship (incl lots of good sex) with! Take care

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A female reader, Prudence Ireland +, writes (5 March 2008):

I agree with OlderSister and Brooke. Some people have anonymous, random sex just for the sake of it, and some people wait for the right person to come along. And a LOT of people lie about how often they're having it. 10 months isn't a long time at all, when you're between relationships.

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A female reader, brooke5426 United Kingdom +, writes (5 March 2008):

brooke5426 agony auntAll I can say is i sympathise - my longest "drought" was a little over a year and it sucked. Its a lonely feeling really. But when I did have sex after that long, it was amazing on every level. I dont think 10 months is like freakishly long, a lot of people go years without it. And you should be commended for not just going out to a club somewhere and getting it on with a random girl just because you havent had it in a while.

It'll be worth the wait!

brooke

x

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