A
male
age
30-35,
*ozmo
writes:(I am 22)I was discussing my lack of physical or romantic relationships of any kind with girls with a friend of mine who started dating at 14. She was saying I am a commitment phoebe, I disagree: my argument is that I need a relationship that is like a high school one, not one that most 22 yo's would have. She said her 14 year old relationships were fun and pressure free; that is exactly what I need now. I asked her to imagine being 14 and the kind of relationship you were expected to enter was that of a 20 something year old. I am at that stage, no experience but people expect me to enter a serious relationship rather than having room to practice like teenagers do.Am I right in thinking this way? or is she correct in saying I am just a commitment phoebe? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2013): I don't think their is anything wrong with wanting to play the field as long as you don't lead people on. Also 22 is young and if you don't want a committed relationship that not a big deal. I'm 22 in a 4 year relationship with a 1 year old child and one on the way and I'm very happy but that is not for everone at my age and neither is right or wrong.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (30 June 2013):
 My guess would be that you are just shy or socially awkward or afraid of rejection, and you are looking for excuses to just jump in the dating arena and see what develops.
Of course you can't have the same relationship a 14 y.o. kid would have, - because you are a 22 y.o. grown up, so not only the expectations about you are different, but also YOUR wants and needs should be quite different from those of a young teen.
Then again, everybody choses and offers their level of committment, from totally committed to totally casual.- and there may be takers for any level.
If by committment you mean dating exclusively ONE girl, eh well, yes, lo and behold that's what most girls aim to,(although not all )
people generally have a problem in sharing even in absence of true feelings- an ego thing, imagine with true feelings involved.
But if you mean, building up a serious, future oriented relationship, leading to marriage and kids , ....then,I must say that I know preciously few ( in fact none, I think ) college age girls who already think in those terms. They are in college, they want to build up their future , their career, live on their oen for a while, have different experiences, travel... I don't think they would apprach a relationship with a " Gotcha, now you are mine " kind of attitude. I think they are fine with the fact that some stories and some loves can be happy, fun, joyful, sensual... and transitional.
FWIW, from Dc I don't get the feelings that teen dating is so breezy and careefree as you make it :)- in fact, plenty of drama, angst, jealousy and general mayhem, lol.
...............................
|
