A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my girlfriend for a year and three months. She has had a very tough childhood. She nearly died after her bowl collapsed and her father abused her mother. This means she has to really trust someone before opening up to them. When we started dating she opened up to me quiet fast. Then six months in to the relationship her step father had a stroke and was hospitalised. At the same time my mother was taken in to hospital with multiple blood clots. I was trying to finish my BA course at university and keep my weekend job while supporting my girlfriend and be there for my mum and my step dad. On top of that my real dad was ill and went to hospital aswell!This all got too much for me after my girlfriends step dad died and my mother became very ill. She has since recoverd.I went in to a deep depression, I was very quiet and was never happy.This was devestating for my relationship. We have never been the same since.We no longer have sex, we dont even passionatly kiss anymore.It's not that I don't want to, It's that she has become so unsure about me that she has closed up again.I love her with all my heart and I just want things back to normal. But I seem to be putting all the effort in now and she does not seem to be showing me any love back allthough she tells me that she does still love me.I just keep waiting for her to love me again the way she used to. I am not sure if the stress of losing her step dad and the effect it has put on her mother is adding to the amount of time it is taking or not.I have become very insecure and I feel as if I need to hear to see some sor of love from her or I feel like the relationship is hanging on by a thread.Please help me and tell me what you think.Thank you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, last sunday she left me. she loves me she just isnt in love with me anymore.
Thank you for those that replied!
It's a shame it all ended like this... in heartbreak
A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (13 October 2007):
You both may be depressed. I suggest you both seek treatment and then see where your at. With modern treatment methods your return to marital bliss is very good.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (13 October 2007):
 This is really hard to comprehend. It's must have been hard enough with her past, but then all this stuff just exploded at once.
Here's what I think. You both need to seek some counseling to work out these issues. When dealing with this level of pain, it will continue having a negative affect on this relationship, as long as you continue allowing it to affect you.
I really hope everything works out for both of you. While reading this, if there was a time I wish a button could be pushed to eliminate pain, this would be it. You have both been through a lot together. I really hope she decides it's time to deal with hers as well. You guys shouldn't have to live with these huge weights.
Take care, best wishes.
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