A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So listen i been dating this guy for a year and some change. Well it's been a rough patch. A week before sweetest day i broke up with him, He was very verbally abusive and talked about my child, not to mention I was pregnant with his child. Well to make a long story short he vandalized my car and wrote hoe ass bitch in white sprAY PAINT AND PUT two gallons of water in my tank. I wasnt even at home I was over my child's father house. How did he know where he stayed? I never told him. Did he follow me? Is he stalking? Scared for my life and my child I already have. I decided to abort for he threatened me about the baby. Till this day he still tries to get back with me. he even asked me to help him finanicialy get back on his feet, cause after he vandalized my car his broke down, he is now asking me to take him back and forth or move in with him. Karma i say. So I'm asking you guys what do you think about this situation? Is something wrong with him mentally?
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broke up, my ex, stalking Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPinktopaz you right I'm not trying to go back. I was really wondering if this guy have psych issues. He has everyone fooled. The problem is we still work together he transfer for three days and came back to work with me. I did file a police report they said I had no proof. He told me a month after that he indeed was the culprit of my car. The issue is how did he know where i was. He had to be stalking me or going through my things. The truth is I do have strong feeling for him, but i have to chop them up cause I would not jeopardize my life and most importantly my only child for this man. For the other poster's, I know this is a sign of abuse and that abuse only get worst every time you let them come back.I like to thank everyone that posted so far thanks for your response.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2010):
Women have been murdered just after they have announced to their partner they are leaving that partner. Or after they have left their ex, the ex has found them and they have been murdered by an abusive ex. Or just their children have been murdered by the ex, to deprive her of her child/children.
Or they have been disfigured by acid in the face, or a gun shot in the face so no one will ever want them. All by the ex.
How could you ever ever contemplate returning to this abusive man?
Putting you and your child, and any future children in danger of abuse?
Domestic abuse is violent abusive behaviour. The levels of abuse escalate more and more as the abuser gets more angry.
The abuser promises, every time he wants you back, to never do it again. But the abuser can't keep that promise because the abusiveness is deeply engrained within them.
Abusive can be verbal (you got that)
Abuse can be property damage (you got that)
Abuse can be financial (not paying back what is owed, taking money from you with no intention of paying it back, or stealing money from you )
Abuse can be physical (slapping or worse right up to assault and murdering you)
Abuse can be social - stopping you from seeing your friends, making your friends feel unwelcome, isolating you from others
Abuse can be psychological (mind games, sick nasty undermining, scaring you, scaring your child.
Abuse can be sexual - raping you and hurting you during sex as punisment for refusing one of his requests
Only a psychiatrist can say if he is in need of psychiatric care or psychological care.
Based on his behaviour, as you described,
I would call the man you described as immature, mean, nasty and abusive, capable of bad domestic violence, (verbally abusive to you, property damage to your property) he has anger management issues(handling the break up in worst possible way). Obviously can't handle money and broke (asked you for loan) Potentially dangerous to you if you are correct about the stalking you.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (21 November 2010):
I didn't get from your post that you were wanting to take him back (and I hope you're not) but that you're just wondering if he has probably more of psychological disorder perhaps? He could! In any case, the way he reacted to you breaking up with him and following you is pretty crazy regardless if he has any sort of psychologic disorder. It sounds like he can be dangerous so definitely stay away from him. Especially since you have a child of your own, you want to keep him/her safe. The other posters made some good points, such as his verbal abuse turning into physical abuse and that you shouldn't even be having any sort of contact with them. Keep him out of your life completely, you owe him nothing.
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A
female
reader, Tbosse  +, writes (21 November 2010):
 This man is bad news.if u take him back for some reason u argue, he wil strangle you..what he did for your car is unthinkable.stop talking to him
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A
female
reader, atadbit +, writes (21 November 2010):
 The problem is u are still talking to him. In his head, as Long as u are still talking with him, he has a chance, he's bad news and it will only get worst, change your phone number, make a police report, and if thinking about karma u still care about him, u need to brake the cycle.
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A
male
reader, Racna1305 +, writes (21 November 2010):
 Well, there is something mentally wrong with you if you go back to him. Why would you want to even think twice about being with someone like that. Verbal abuse will lead to physical abuse and that is something very hard to get out of if you get in too deep. He vandalized your property? Stalked you? This shouldn't even be a question sweets, he is not the guy for you point blank.
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