A
female
age
36-40,
*i_the_tree
writes:Arghhhhh! I need someone to calm me down a bit!!! My thoughts are running away with me and i'm totally freaking out!!!I'm trying to get over my ex at the minute, and it's going well so far, apart from this one thing that's literally torturing me!!Try and keep this short...Two of our friends broke up about 5 weeks ago after a 2 year relationship. She wasn't happy and decided to end it. My ex and I were trying to get along as best we could, and i thought things were going ok, but a couple of weeks after the other couple split, my ex decided to have "the talk" with me. He said he didn't think that we would work as a couple as i am going to uni in september and he thinks that he can't be a part of my life because of it.Now, the guy from the other couple approached me about 4 weeks ago with suspicions that his ex and my ex might be more than friends. He would go and pick her up in his car even though her ex didn't like it and thought that she wasn't considering his feelings. She said that she is fond of my ex and enjoys his company.Well i had suspicions too, but dismissed them (my ex has been known to dump me for other girls before) but i just don't know what to think. She is all over his facebook wall, 'liking' his status' and photos and it's driving me crazy.Her ex and me decided that we wouldn't confront until something was confirmed between our ex's but i can't help but torture myself because of it. I mean, if my ex was honest about it and told me that he wanted to be with her, then i could continue to move on, but i can't confront him just yet until i have more info.Does it sound suspicious to you???
View related questions:
broke up, facebook, her ex, his ex, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (21 February 2012):
fi_the_tree is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for all your answers guys! You lot are right, no point in confronting them, they have every right to be together if they want to be. Just need to keep moving forward in life.
Thanks again :)
A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (21 February 2012):
 He is an ex, she is an ex, that's the end of the story. I'm sorry you and the neighbour are hurting and in love, but love doesn't give you possession of anyone.
Ok, yes, the two ex's are planning their wedding next week. What now, what can you do, what can anyone do about it? For whatever reason your relationship didn't work and you broke up. You have as much control over his life and this ladies life as you have control over some stranger in the street. You can't tell him who to date, you can't tell him who to love. A broken heart is not a passport to try to hold onto him for the rest of your life.
Instead of keeping your pain going, try doing something for yourself to move forward in life. Sorry I know it hurts, but nobody said life promised fair.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (21 February 2012):
 I really understand you and your friend are both angry and hurt but the truth is that the first steps to heal are to let the pain and anger go.
To be honest it doesn’t matter when it started or why.., it is what it is and there is nothing your anger and pain can do to fix that.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (21 February 2012):
 There's nothing to confront, I think that both the exes would consider yours as meddling , not confronting.
He's an ex. She's an ex. They had the right to take up with another person,like, 5 minutes after having dumped you. That you may think this is indelicate, selfish, they should have waited, they should have warned you, it's your opinion, a respectable one, maybe I'd feel the same in your circumstances, yet it does not change that, he gave you the talk, she gave him the talk... now they are out of your hands , out of your life and viceversa, which means: stay out of their business.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2012): It sounds like you just want clarity on whether they were already cheating before either couple broke up, right? That way, you had a concrete answer to why things ended with you, not just because you're going to Uni. This would also help with you moving on... knowing the REAL reason.
It is raw for both you and the other guy who got dumped, and the fact you are all in the same circle of friends does make it much harder.
Perhaps you need to decide, if you don't want your ex back, to forget him. He wasn't honest enough with you, or the relationship wasn't strong enough for him to fight for it, through Uni and anything else, instead he chose the easy way out. That does not sound like love to me.
Be gracious, bow out and rather wait for someone more deserving of your heart, time and energy. Wish the other guy luck as well, and don't join a bandwagon of confirming suspicions because if it's true it will become clear in future anyway.
You need to get busy with Uni and other activities, and forget about him. Take him off your network sites, and move on.
You will find happiness again!
Best Wishes
xxxx E
...............................
A
female
reader, Domolovescookies +, writes (21 February 2012):
 I understand how that must make you feel... but unless your plan is to get back with your ex, I think you need to let him go. For your own good you should probably try to get as far out of his "business" as possible, unless you really think confronting him would lead to a better solution. What would be the perfect ending for this? Him being single forever? Him coming back to you? Remember that part of loving some one is putting their interests right up there with your own. If you guys cant be together for whatever reason, maybe there is no point in trying to separate these two people?
...............................
A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (21 February 2012):
fi_the_tree is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe reason why myself and the other guy are worried is because we still love our exes, him especially. He didn't want to split from his gf, but he had no choice. Neither of us like the fact that our exes are getting so close so soon after painful endings.
Confronting would cause all sorts of issues, as we are all in the same circle of friends, me and the other guy would probs have to leave everyone behind, as everyone knows each other.
I know its not classed as cheating, but its still very raw for me and the other guy right now.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 February 2012):
and what good would confronting them do?
what will it resolve?
...............................
A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (21 February 2012):
fi_the_tree is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOoops, slight error. It wasn't 4 weeks ago that the guy came to see me, was about a 3 weeks. Just re-read it and noticed my mistake!
...............................
A
female
reader, Domolovescookies +, writes (21 February 2012):
... i dont get it, you area all "ex's" so why on earth are you suspicious? and what would you "confront" about... they arent cheating or anything...
It sounds to me like you guys are too far into their business
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2012): You don't need evidence to confront him. I think you ought to invite them both out to dinner and discuss it or call him immaturely. Confront him.....
...............................
|
