A
male
age
41-50,
*p-boy
writes:hey righty I was browsing on my girlfriends phone when she got a text from her cousin so she asked me to say what it said then in the message menu I notice her ex bfs name so i clicked it ( i will explain more of this further down) it was a single reply message from him must have been from a night out.Now she knows I dont like this guy because he cheated on her . she says they were just friends then when i explained thats oky just because i am sensitive not too kind of say his name just because i get annoyed due to history. but I was willing to be a man and at her friends birthday i was prepared to invite him to the bar , but he avoided me and just went n spoke to her so i let it go. Anyways she then said she ignores his text and delteted his number. but if you did his name would be erased if you get me . now the funny thing is on her iphone its got the chatlog from all her messages so u can see them , but his is just a single message and all other messages have been deleted. I have not said anything because I know what I done was wrong . now do you think something is going on or she is just keeping them away so i dont get annoyed . girls please let me know what you think. thank you :)
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male
reader, Wheeler  +, writes (6 February 2011):
 Something I have learned first-hand unfortunately is that it is a BIG red flag when a girl is a) deceptive about communication with an ex, especially one that left them, b) has clearly lied about deleting his name from her contacts, and c) is not willing to go above and beyond to be understanding and not give you reasons to doubt.
Now, I know I may be biased against women right now because I am going through a break-up with similar circumstances, but I do know this: A woman who truly loves you and with whom you have a healthy relationship will not mind going out of her way to not let anything continue if it is causing doubts in your mind.
Those doubts are VERY destructive, and everyone knows that. So why would she allow it to continue unless she is either up to something or just not concerned enough about the relationship to do what it takes to make it work.
A
female
reader, auntieloulou +, writes (31 January 2011):
 I can't really say for sure if something is going on, what's your gut instinct? Does she go out for long periods of time? Is she secretive? I think it kinda sounds harmless, but can't be too sure. You need to approach her about it. Start by telling her that you saw a message from him on her phone when she asked you to read a different message. Tell her you feel insecure and knew it was wrong, but you want to know if there is anything going on. don't get mad as you will make the situation worse when there could be a reasonable explanation. you also should assess why you feel like this, are you insecure about yourself? because it sounds like you are; if you are secure you should only really believe someone is cheating on you if you have hard evidence. if you are insecure, you need to work on that as it can only be self destructive. good luck!
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A
female
reader, patersonOx +, writes (31 January 2011):
well i haven't been in your position with a boy or done it to anyone, but if you feel the way you do you should really talk to her abotu it. as you don't want all these thoughts getting put into your head, no one likes feeling like someones cheating or what have you on them.
maybe she just casually talks to him and is just scared incase you find out cause she knows you dislike him and doesn't want to create a drama and have you and her falling out. no girl likes the boy they love or like thinking they are upto something and doubting their trust for them.
confront her about how you feel, she should understand ask her whats going on but don't be too annoyed about it as she will think you don't trust her at all and this will push her away xxxx
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