A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi! My boyfriend of almost six months is 19 turning 20 in August and I`m 15 turning 16 in September, I look older for my age and I`m also more mature than most 15 year old girls. I know a lot of teenagers say that, but, no, I REALLY am. I`m going to be a Senior in HS and I`ll be graduating in May of 2011. The majority of people who see us together can not tell our age difference just by looking at us but the few that KNOW our ages, ridicule us heavily. We ARE having sex and will continue to have sex, protected. And, no, that is not all he wants. He is truly and sincerely committed to me, so much that he works 8 hours a day, 5 days a week and also goes to college four days a week just to save money and build a career for our future. Everything he does somehow pertains to me. I`ve never met such a selfless and loving man, especially at only 19 years old. Society says our relationship is wrong, but is it? IS THERE REALLY AN AGE LIMIT ON love..?
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female
reader, dmartin89  +, writes (13 March 2011):
 " I`m also more mature than most 15 year old girls. I know a lot of teenagers say that, but, no, I REALLY am" -Pfft! First red flagI think we would take you a little more seriously also if you wernt having illegal underage sex...It isnt the age GAP that is important here, that is nothing. Its the fact that you are 15/16. If he truly cared about your future, why would he be encouraging illegal sex? I'm sure you know that he could be put in prison for peodophillia and statutory rape?And i'm not overreacting, this happens. What do your parents say about your relationship? Do they know you're having sex?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2011): Hi,
I was 17 (now 19) when I started a relationship with my 25 (now 27) year old boyfriend, he's now my fiancee & we are getting married in 4 months.
But 15 & 19 isn't ok as 15 is not old enough to be in a physical relationship, especially because teenagers change a lot between 14 & 17 & usually change what kind of person they want to be with.
when people are 17/18 or older age dosn't matter at all.
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male
reader, Iroh  +, writes (9 July 2010):
No, I don^t think so. My uncle is 41 and his wife is 30
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2010): I think that there is no "age limit" on love. that's just plain stupid. If you really love someone, even if there acouple years older, continue it. I wouldnt though, if it started getting TOO far... But if your very much in love w/ him, you should keep your relationship going... Mabye even get married. =]
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (8 July 2010):
"I know a lot of teenagers say that, but, no, I REALLY am"
Sorry - but that statment actually made me LOL. Of all the things you wrote, nothing convinced me you are a typical teenager more than that.....
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (8 July 2010):
 What do Mom and Dad say about your relationship?
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 July 2010):
The moment you claimed that you really were 'mature', I knew you weren't. And I was right. Only someone immature would of out with an older guy and have sex with him. You know when you get caught he will be prosecuted and labelled as a paedophile, don't you? I've seen it all before.
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female
reader, sally boo +, writes (8 July 2010):
hi ... quick and simple answer ... there is no age limit on love. there are 5 years between me and my boyfriend and i met him when i was 16. we are still together after four years and still very much in love. Good luck x
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male
reader, bernymac  +, writes (8 July 2010):
Wow. Guess I'm going to be the only guy that responds to this. Basically, no, there isn't an age limit to what you believe is "love". I am a 18 year old guy, 19 this coming October, with the most gorgeous girl ever, just turned 16 last March. We've been together since November '09. I am going to be completely honest with you, but I think he is thinking a bit too far. If he thinks he is going to get a job, get a mortgage and settle down so soon, should you not be worried? Are you sure he is the one? I am sure you are more than capable of making these decisions, but what if something happens down the track? Not saying it will, but what IF? Seeing as you're still 15, you have not FULLY developed mentally, I can tell that you are smart and all, but you never know whats around the corner. But otherwise, no, no age limit on love. Their is however, an age limit on sex - 16 and above young lady!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2010): Your boyfriend is not decent, if he was he would have waited till you were 16 and LEGAL. In the eyes of the law he is a pervert.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 July 2010):
 My experience with "mature" teenagers is that they never actually do come back and address the valid questions that adults ask of them.
OP, keep in mind that we were all teenagers once too. I think we are all pretty much in agreement that we all thought we were very mature at age 15, but looking back on it, the key word there is "thought." We actually were nowhere near as grown up as we thought. I know it isn't what you want to hear but there you have it.
There is an age limit on mature, adult, romantic, sexual love. There is no age limit on platonic, unconditional parental or fraternal love.
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female
reader, xanthic +, writes (8 July 2010):
 Although it does sound like you two have a good relationship, age is NOT just a number, and love can never be used as the sole reason a large age gap is justified. Just because it worked out with one or two other couples in a similar situation doesn't mean it's definitely going to work out for you; they're the exception, not the rule. Also, with age comes experience and a broader perspective, not to mention a better understanding of the outside world. This is why a five year gap isn't as bad between two people in their 30s, for example. They've both had a decent amount of experience in life and aren't as vulnerable as they once were as a teenager. Although you're doing the right thing by using protection, you're not fully capable of handling sex emotionally yet, even if you think you are.
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (8 July 2010):
 Sorry, he's 19.... my mistake
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (8 July 2010):
Your 15, under the age of consent in the USA... you've been dating this older guy of 18 (over the age of consent) for only 6 months and your already having illegal sex..
Yep, I believe this guy is probably mentally as mature as you....
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female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (8 July 2010):
 A 5 year age gap when you are 24 and he is 29 is not bad at all, so it is not the age gap that is the problem. You can love someone regardless of their age. But the reason society has a problem with children dating adults is because of sex - children and teenagers are very vulnerable and impressionable, often their first love is very intense and these feelings are overwhelming, leaving the child/teenager susceptible to being used by adults for sex. Which is fundamentally wrong.
Society has to have a problem with scenarios such as yours, otherwise it would then be ok for a 12 year old to have sex with a 17 year old, or a 10 year old with a 15 year old - is this right? There needs to be age limits otherwise children would end up being abused!
So while your relationship sounds lovely, the issue is sex. If your boyfriend had done the proper thing he would have waited to have sex with you until you are legal, not only because he could get into a lot of trouble being his age and having sex with a minor, but also I am assuming this is your first "real love" in a long term relationship, which again means all these feelings you have will be overwhelming and new and this is when you are most open to being used for sex. So if he was a decent, caring, mature guy who doesnt just think with his d**k then he would have waited for you! And you havent even been together 6 months, that is way too soon to be having sex with someone, you barely know him!
You should pay attention to Tisha's advice - if you really are as "mature" as you say then those questions should make you think.
The problem with you "mature" teenagers (and I know, I was one of them!) is that you are inherently selfish and self-absorbed. You even think that everything your boyfriend does relates to you! This is not a criticism, I was the same way and most teenagers are like this. It is because you are too young to understand there is a world out there and there are implications to your actions. So by asking this question you are not really looking for answers, you are just stating "I have a great boyfriend and I dont care about the age gap, so the rest of the world shouldnt care and let me get on with it". You are just looking for more "mature" teenagers to tell you they are doing the same thing so it must be right.
But when you grow up and when you are an adult who has lived a little, you will see that there is a reason why society doesnt "approve" of big age gaps when a child is dating an adult, but only a "mature" person can see both sides of the argument.
At the end of the day you are just going to keep on doing what you are doing, and the only thing that will come along and mess it up is the police when someone informs them there is an adult having sex with a child on a frequent basis. Then you might get a little insight into why such laws exist, and what happens when you dont follow them!
Children need to be protected from adults who have the wrong intentions, and children also need to be protected from themselves. Teenagers believe so strongly in their own opinions that they will do anything that "feels right" to them. But in reality it might not be the right thing to do, but the teenager is too narrow-minded and immature to realise it.
There would be nothing wrong with your relationship if you were not having sex - if he really loved you and cared for you (and valued not having a criminal record) then he would have waited, but men are very immature until they are about 25 and cannot think with much else other than their hormones. So you dont have true love here, you have a stubborn teenager who believes they are right, and a hormonal young man having sex with a child.
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reader, baybee-x-sparkii +, writes (8 July 2010):
 my best friend is 17 and her boyfriend is 25, they've been together for two years and have got everything they could ever wish for in each other. that's eight years difference and they are perfect together
just an insight :)
SB :)
x
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female
reader, xtruestory3 +, writes (8 July 2010):
 I feel that I relate to youree case..I am 15 turning 16 in August. My boyfriend just turned 20 in May. I am also very mature for my age, probably more mature then my boyfriend, honestly. I am graduating high school in december 2010. I met my boyfriend when i was 13 and he was 17. At that point, I was in eigth grade and he was a senior in high school. I instintly fell for him, but he always said he couldnt help but like me, but i was just way too young. it hurt really bad and i let him have his space cuz i knew he would regret saying that. we went on to have different relationships with other people, which seemed to make him pretty jelous because i was dating kids near his age and he started to seee that it wasnt a huge deal. soon he started to take me seriously and we started a relationship when i was 14 and he was 19. No one has really questioned out age difference besides the men in my family. but i believe that people who question age are just being ignorant. you cant help who you fall in love with. I know that something so little as a number cannot destroy a true love. and you should never give in to pressure. as long as your relationship is safe and healthy, all judgements should be ignored.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2010): Last year, when I was 17, my boyfriend was 24 and let me tell you, there was an enormous difference. He had much more life experience than me even though he said I was mature. I was still in high school! When you are an adult, age differences don't matter as much because you both have reached a certain level of maturity and life experience. However, he is out of high school and has a different perspective than you do. I would say enjoy the relationship while it lasts, but don't expect anything else to come out of it. I also think you are too young to be having sex because you are not old enough to realize what it really means. You will understand this when you are older but don't stress about it now. Enjoy your teen years- they go by fast and when you become an adult, you have many responsibilities.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 July 2010):
It sounds as though you two are a very nice couple. As you are so mature for your age, let me ask you this. Why do you think society sets age limits for sexual activity? Do you think it's some sort of evil plot to keep teenagers down and subjugated or that it's something that's directly targeting you and your boyfriend?
Let's take your question and put a different set of people in it. Let's take a young girl, oh say she's 12 1/2, is going to be 13 in 3 months, but she looks 15, has her period already. A 43 year old who is single finds her attractive and wants to date her. She likes him a lot. Is this relationship okay? Is this real love?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2010): Hello,
I am fifteen years old, going into my junior year. I know how you feel: pressured and unsure. What to do? I will give you my opinion.
Age does NOT matter. My parents are ten years apart; last year I dated someone four years older than me. At our age, it is very hard to find a long-lasting, stable, mature partner. If you KNOW and TRUST and LOVE this young man, and he feels the same way towards you, then you can't be doing something "wrong."
I do warn that what you are doing is dangerous. You should not tell other people about your relationship, because he would most likely be reported and arrested. Please be careful! Keep what you have a precious secret, because it could be nullified at any time by people who do not play by emotion or understanding.
I have empathy for you, and wish you good luck. ^_^
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2010): Hi my boyfriend and I are in the same situation im 17 turnin 18 he's 22 turnin 23. Our parents hate the age gap and our friends don't like it either. He's in the army and has just moved into his own place and he constantly asks me 2 move in with him 2 start our future but I need 2 finish HS b4 I do. I believe age is just a number and if he treats u with respect and is genuin then no there is no age limit on love
Hope this helps
Good luck
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