A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hii was wondering wot anyone makes of this. i was sort of seeing a girl for the last month and for some reason i totally fell for her straight away. its so weird because im really picky and i told myself id never let myself get in2 someone too much because i was with someone for four years and got hurt really bad. since then, ive never met anyone i really really liked untill this girl. as soon as i saw her in a club i just blurted out how gorgeous i thought she was(which i usually would never have the confidence to do), but it worked and i got talking and dancing and buying her a drink etc.. anyway i found out she was going through an awkward break up with her first love that had cheated on her. when i found this out i immediatley told myself not to like her to much too soon but i just couldnt help it, she was unbelievably stunning and really nice.anyway after seeing her for a month(only on weekends but text everyday and talked on the phone) she went back to her ex.im now gutted.i know that i wasnt a rebound guy because of situations that would take ages to write here so ull hav2 take my word for that.loleven though i knew her for only a month im thinking about her all the time an totally depressed about it. hows that possible? please dont think im like this totally sad guy or anything,lol, cos i cant comprehend myself how after such a short time im so hung up on her. im a good looking guy and nice but i was still gobsmacked that a girl this hot was into me. thats what makes it hard i think is that i was so into her and she really was well into me, its just totally the wrong timing and situations. its doing my head in that i met her now cos if i had met her before this guy or even later on and tey break up for good id be with her! is it weird that it bothers me this much? or could she be that one that got away? it dont help that shes my "friend" on facebook because i see her on that from time to time. but i cant go deleting her on it. anyone got any advice? sorry if this sounds redicilous!lol. ive totally fallen for her! i think its driving me nuts because it ended just as it looked like it was gonna get serious, she even sid if she wasnt so confused with the situation with her wx then shed be with me by now. do u think theres a possibility i could get with her in the future even though im not in contact with her now?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): thanks for youre reply. the problem is im not in contact with her now i sent her a text wen she sed we shwd leave it just to say take care, and wen i found out 2 days later that she was back with her ex i sent her an email to say no hard feelings and that she cwd call me if things didnt work out. i had no reply from either, i wasnt really expecting 1 tho cos im pretty sure she feels guilty towards her bf for likeing me. its so strange how she was really really into me, we spoke on the 4n two nights before she sed to leave it, for over an hour, then she text saying how much she liked talking 2 me instead of texting. wen she asked if i wanted to just leave things there she said she was thinking of me. i knew there was a good chance she would get back with this guy, thats y i cant believe i let myself fall for her. i obviously cant try contacting her cos she wouldnt want that now shes back with him, but should i talk 2 her if i see her out? wot i dont get is tho, how on facebook shes making out that everything is amazing with her bf, he cheated last year, thet tried giving it another go, but it didnt work, so how after 2 days of being back with him is she making out shes head over heals with him? and she met and really liked me and asked me out. theres nothing i can do now and thats the worse thing. if i saw on facebook that they break up in the future shwd i get in touch or is that a bad idea?
A
male
reader, a-g55 +, writes (28 May 2008):
 yeah there is. u have to play it tho. u need to sort ure feeling for her out first. cut of all communication slowly. adjust what u write to her. u now know that she has gon back to her ex and there is nothin u can do apart from speak to her every now and again. u feel gutted cz u blame ureself. is it realy ure fault? shes in a complicated situation. shes always going to go back with him rather than start summit new and thats jus the laws of human psycological science. that will make u feel better when u finaly grasp the meaning of that. i dont know what u write to her but u eiter try and persuade her sumtimes or u just act as if u dont care. the second one is best. the first one drives her away. uve done ure bit uve expressed ure intrest now let her come to you. the only way that can psycologicaly happen is if u back off slightly. u might think that will have a negative affect, she might wonder why uve stopped talkin. dont explain to her why u stopped talkin to her until she broken up. prepare what ure going to say to her when she finishes the guy. and lets be honest here. u are without doubt the next person she feels comfortable with after him! go out and find sum lasses. not to date but to jus be friends with. and hang around with some girls. u learn alot which prevents u from fallin into the same trap of loving her to quickly again!!
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