A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I'm going on vacation for a week and I'm wondering if there's anything I can say or do so that my b/f doesn't cheat on me while I'm gone. We both work together and I feel threatened by this other girl. Please help!!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Artistry +, writes (4 July 2008):
 Hi there, To be honest, if you do not trust your boyfriend, then you will be forever worrying about what he might do, with whomever. There are vampire women out there, but if the two of you love each other, and are committed, to being in the relationship, equally respect each other, then you have to trust him, and let it go. You cannot fret, that he is going to cheat, because for one thing, if you give off those vibes, he will pick up on them, and before you know it, he may just do what you think he is doing any way. Trust grows with trust, let it be, if he is not a cheater, he is not a cheater, if he is, the better to know it now, than later. Don't mention, don't do this or don't do that to him, and put things in his mind, that he had no intention of doing. Trust the man, until he gives you some reason to not trust him. Please don't go looking for trouble, where there is none. You must also build up your self confidence, so that other people don't intimidate you,
you are great, you are talented, you are smart, believe in yourself. By doing this, you will have a protective armour so to speak, to help you, not worry about what other people are doing, you will have the confidence to withstand the minor obstacles. Good luck to you. Take care.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (4 July 2008):
 You can never guarantee he won't cheat. As far as you're concerned, he's already guilty. You can never control other people by force. The either do the correct things because it's the proper thing to do....or they don't. If they don't love you enough to do the good things then you never really had much to lose.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2008): No.
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A
female
reader, Tremor  +, writes (4 July 2008):
 Besides strapping the lad to a chair and locking him in a closet, there is no /absolute/ guarantee that he won't cheat - it's impossible to control the actions of others.
This is why trust is so important when it comes to relationships. You need to trust that he won't cheat, and he needs to trust the same of you. It's hard to base a loving relationship on suspicion and paranoia.
I wouldn't worry about this other woman. What's she got that you don't? Keep in mind that YOU are his girlfriend, not her, and that there must be a reason for that. You also need to give your boyfriend credit - do you /really/ think he'd nick off with the first lass who bats her eyelashes while your back is turned? Unless he has a history of cheating, I really doubt you have much to worry about.
Good luck to you.
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