A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:On my first 2 dates w/ a guy (well, date #2 was just hanging out w/him and his friends at his place), he barely even kissed me. Seriously. Just romantic things like holding my hand. But then date #3 was me getting booty texted from a bar. When I came over, he was slurring, so I decided not to go upstairs, and told him I wanted to take things more slowly -- we just made out. (In fact, I later found out that he didn't remember anything we talked about that night -- that's how drunk he was.) Before that night, he put 0 moves on me; we hadn't even made out before. So I was blindsided when he went cold on me afterward, because I just made out with him that night. Is there any way to regain his interest? Maybe he's just feeling awkward because I rejected him... and is unsure how to proceed/what I really want... i.e. he may be wondering, would it be weeks or months before I got sex from this girl?! Does she have to be committed?! I want to let him know that I'm up for something casual... but I don't know how to approach him.
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female
reader, Skeez  +, writes (13 August 2011):
 Erm well if he still talks to you then you have no reason not to bring it up. just ask him 'ive noticed you have become distant after that night, is there any reason why?' something along those lines should be ok, if hes lost interest anyway he wont reply so you havent lost anything in asking, and if he does answer then you two can talk it through.
goodluck xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI can't figure out how to approach this that won't intimidate him more and make it worse.
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A
female
reader, Skeez +, writes (13 August 2011):
heya. there could be many reasons why he has suddenly gone a bit 'cold'.
Some guys just want to get laid in some sense, and though really disheartening to think, he may have just thought 'oh i didnt get any action, time to move onto the next girl'
Or he could possibly be embaressed with the way he acted towards you that night. Its good that he didnt try any moves on you the dates before, but ive heard of this 3 date rule some guys apparently go by. If theres no action by the 3rd date he assumes shes not interested. Its sad to think that actually might be what some guys think, im not sure, im a women so I can not say if it is true.
If he still talks to you then great, just explain to him what you are looking for and be straight forward. If you want something just casual then great, if he does aswell then its all good. I once started seeing a guy and pulled the 'i only want a sexual relationship' he loved that and his mates said they were shocked he found a girl who just wanted that, but in the end he ended up liking me more than casually. Sorry thougth id throw that in there, just to say it could go either way, badly or good.
You just need to speak to him, if hes gone all cold turkey on you completely then I would wait for him to contact you.
Goodluck!
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