A
male
age
51-59,
*arz
writes: I have a situation that requires your expert advice. I have tried other online advice and have never been taking seriously. I have an abnormally large penis and it is causing physical and emotional issues for me and my wife. To begin, my flaccid penis ranges from 10 inches to 11.5 inches long depending on the day and about 9 inches around (just a bit thicker than a soda can), which as you can guess, causes clothing issues for me. My wife is constantly telling me to “put it somewhere, people can see it”. Of course there is really nowhere to put it. I tuck it as much as I can, but then it looks like I have two soda cans and a baseball in the back of my pants. Both of us have begun to get serious anxiety in the mornings over my “getting dressed rituals” and its affecting our relationship. Any suggestions? The other issues we have, involve intercourse. When erect, my penis is about 16 inches to 17 inches measured along the top. If measured from underneath…its about 18 to 19 inches and its 13 inches around at the head (about the size of a cantaloupe). It gets thicker as you approach the base, but I haven’t measured since that part never gets close to going in. The problems are obvious, and although there are actually some positions (she says) that don’t hurt, many times after the adrenaline is gone, she lays curled in a ball in bed for up to an hour. She enjoys being on top (after we get going) and as long as she lays flat on my stomach I can keep most of me out of her and we seem to do ok. But when she gets over exited, she tends to try to sit back or up a little, and at that point I can feel and hear things moving around way up in there that I don’t think should be moving around. I guess the adrenaline is so strong, she doesn’t feel it. But then ends up crying on the bed in a ball. Can you please help? Are there any exercises she can do, or maybe if I take estrogen or something, can I make it smaller? Any and all suggestions would be helpful. I love her and hate to see her in pain. Thank you
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2010): I would love to belive you but the longes measured is 17 and it's not even in world records and the recorded one is 14 so got to guiness world records and get signed there for the biggest penis in the world :).
If you want to create real dicussion about this please choose a bit lower numbers :)
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (28 August 2009):
 You should capitalize on this as well - check it out!
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Who_has_the_largest_penis_in_the_world
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009): Birdy - great idea!! I've no doubt the drag queens will be delighted to help him!!!
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (28 August 2009):
As far as dressing goes, you might want to ask a gay friend if their are any drag clubs in the area. Those guys have to hide their packages under skimpy clothing and seem to do a great job. They might be able to help you "dress" better than you have been able to figure out on your own. Just a thought. :^)
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A
male
reader, tarz +, writes (28 August 2009):
tarz is verified as being by the original poster of the question in regards to surgery..I have asked and its not possible The tissue of the penis is like sponge that expands at different rates as it fills with blood, so to cut into it soft, may cause a severly distorted penis. Hmmm maybe distorted and smaller would be better?!?!?
As far as toys go, we have tried, but you always end up getting hot and heavy and get carried away, especially when the passion is there.
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A
male
reader, tarz +, writes (27 August 2009):
tarz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry for those of you who are in disbelief, but I really don't pay much attention to those comments as I have dealt with them my whole life. I have had people pull it and still not believe that it what they were seeing.Thank you to those of you that have tried to help, as it is a very serious issue...it's affecting my relationship. I welcome all serious comments, because I am willing to try most anything at this point
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (27 August 2009):
I am peeing myself laughing.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (27 August 2009):
 Have you heard about the "cannibal roulette"?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2009): Perhaps he accidentally picked up a metric tape measure.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2009): If by some very remote chance this is a real question then the first thing you should do is to call Ripley's Believe It or Not and Guinness. Then see the best urologist in the USA. Start with one of the major hospitals.
You know, when most people are habitual lairs, they at least try to make their lies somewhat believable. Well, maybe not always. If your penis is 13 inches in girth then that is over 4 inches across. Even a horse is not nearly that big. And just what woman can take that without feeling like she is giving birth every time she has sex. A typical 750 ml wine bottle is 11 inches high and less than 10 inches around. Ladies, imagine putting something more than 30% bigger than that wine bottle in you and tell us if this post is real. Yeah, like his wife rides that.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (26 August 2009):
 See your urologist for your options; your wife should discuss her medical issues with her doctor as well. I think it's a bit odd that you think strangers on the internet could give you better advice than your doctors.
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A
male
reader, nice guy 2009  +, writes (26 August 2009):
yes mate its easy you need to dump her and date a horse, i only say this because i feel that from your size you must be a distant relative of Seabiscuit. :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2009): Put an ad in the Buy & Sell looking for a guy with a small penis who wants a bigger one, and arrange a swap. You don't need to handshake on the deal if you don't want to.
Seriously, I have no idea whether there is any medical procedure that you can get, and suspect most of the aunts here are similarly stumped. You'll probably need to Google the required info.
I don't mean to ridicule your situation at all or minimize the undoubtedly huge extent of the problem, but I have to say I thought your post was hilarious. Congratulations on your gift for expression, you write really well. I am in awe of your talents, sir.
And - best of luck with the cock.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2009): As I do agree with the first poster.. I also have to say that I have never heard of a way to make it smaller in length. although I do know that you can buy rings to go around the base of your penis to maybe help prevent her from going to far down. (grant it that is not what they are ment to do) but I would think that it is worth a shot.
good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2009): Im afraid I find you post utterly ridiculous.
Either you are lying, or you dont know how to use a tape measure.
With the measurements you have stated you would officially have the largest penis in the world, the current recorded largest penis is 13.5 inches erect and belongs to a guy called Jonah.
People come on here to offer serious advice, dont waste peoples time with your ridiculous comments and posts.
If you are telling the truth then I appologise for my forward post, but i find it extremely unlikely given the measurements you have given.
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