A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:About a year ago I was with a girl, and one night we almost had a threesome with one of my best friends (male), that I wasn't particularly comfortable with. Just after we'd got things started off we were interrupted by a couple of friends having a domestic next door, and then they brought the row into our room.This year, in a similar situation, I nearly had a threesome with my girlfriend and her best friend (female). This went a little further than the one the year before, but not very far, because the friend didn't feel comfortable and hence nothing happened.So, I don't seem to be having a lot of luck with this. I worry that I might never experience a threesome. I'd much prefer it to be with two girls, but apparently (and from my own experience) it's not easy to make everyone comfortable with the situation. Is there any way of making a threesome comfortable?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2009): A few have answered, and none answered your question.
YES, it is possible to make all three people comfortable. There are a few good books on the topic (seach amazon for "threesome"). Years ago we had a book that went through how to successfully have both FMF & MFM 3somes. The advice was really good (and true), about how to attract a third person and include them. It's the MOST WORK I've ever done... but the resulting relationship lasted around 7 or 8 months (she moved back to her home state and we drifted apart).
And FYI - it was my GF that opended up the issue and wanted it... I naturally loved the idea, so long as it was with the right person...
A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (30 August 2009):
 Is it that important that you experience a threesome? I would think the majority of people go through life without doing this, and more crucially without ever WANTING to do this. I know, from a personal point of view that I would/could never want to share my man during sex, and I certainly wouldnt want another woman pawing at me. The whole idea makes me feel physically sick. However, that is just my opinion.YOU would much prefer it to be with two women? How does your girlfriend feel about this?If she wanted another man in your bed would you be 100% happy with that? Does she actually want to do this or are you pushing her into it by making her feel bad if she doesnt go along with your fantasy?Threesomes are usually peddled by the (male) porn industry to provide visual material for men - as these situations are usually for the benefit of the male alone. Its about ego boosting. The women is very rarely asked about her feelings on this. This is NOT reality. Those women are PAID to do that. It is FAKE. In their own sex lives, do you think they would actually do that on a regular basis? I think you need to have a good look at your own relationship. WHY do you want this so badly? Is it just to put another notch on your bedpost? To live up to the male ego? If you are committed to your girlfriend, then you would not want to have another woman around, that fact that you do not seem to be satisfied with what you have suggests that you may not feel as much for her as she feels for you.
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A
male
reader, Digiman  +, writes (30 August 2009):
 Easy: find two other people who are into threesomes!What you can't do, however, is talk someone into it if that's not his/her thing...
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (30 August 2009):
 It's not a normal situation, it's not something that is supposed to happen on a regular basis, it's a little bit out there... If it were normal by everyones standards, you'd see triplets instead of couples; or group marriages. Even in the series "Big Love" about a Mormon who is a polygamist, they are quite specific about how they share their husband, they don't all jump into bed together every night. Why? Because if you are making love the right way, you are concentrating on the other person. I think that you are either watching too many porn flicks and therefore think it's a normal, everyday sex act that everyone just has in their repetoire. If you want to just rub up against people in multiples, you need to get into the swinging scene.AND I'm thinking most of those people aren't the kind of young women that you would be normally hanging out with...
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