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Is there any point in trying to remain friends with these people?

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Question - (30 December 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 5 January 2012)
A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Simple question. I've come back from university and none of my college friends made the effort to see how university life was or how I was doing, except for one. I guess it does work both ways, as neither did I.

But I contacted the few I was closest with before I went and tried to get us to go out for new years and said how I wanted to see them again and us to go out like old times and such. Well, they took ages to reply and when they did they didn't give an answer to whether they wanted to or not. It was more of, yeah that sounds good but I'm not sure yet.

Well yesterday I decided if they aren't going to reply then i'm not going to wait around. So I saw on facebook, that the girl who I messaged had been online and wrote back to other people, but not my message? The other two girls I asked, were talking on facebook saying they had nothing to do and wanted to go out, but said where I suggested was too far.. yet they always go out there and were planning to go somewhere that was nearly three times the journey i said!? In fact, one of those girls actually told me today that she hadn't heard from anyone at college and wasn't sure what to do, which clearly seeing that she had. And when I told her I made other plans, she just said okay, that's fine...

So my point is, obviously I know we've all distanced now. But I don't know if there is any point trying with them anymore, it feels like i'm making all the effort to stay in contact and get us together and that they aren't bothered and don't care whether i'm out with them or not. I don't know now where that puts me, or if I want to go out on monday with them next week, because I don't feel like we're really friends or even close anymore, so what's the point... what do you guys make of this? I don't know what to do and talking to them doesn't help, trust me...

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A male reader, SonOfMan Christmas Island +, writes (5 January 2012):

SonOfMan agony auntSome people value friendships more than others.

I lost touch with many friends when i went to university, some have completely disappeared from my life and I have no wish to contact them. I'm afraid that's just the way it is.

As for the others I still speak to. I'm lucky enough to have them in my life as they are understanding. Sometimes our paths go in different directions but as long as the friendship and respect is there then we still communicate from time to time, ask about each other and if circumstances allow, we hang out.

I think over time, you realize who your friends are from the people who you just know.

Don't take it to heart and worry about it, just do your bit and the true friends will always stick by you.

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