A
female
age
30-35,
*aileyLove
writes:The title describes itself. If you've followed my questions before, then you'll know the guy who I was so "head over heels" with. Today, I don't think I could've been any madder, or felt any more stupid. I'm feeling so hopeless right now... Any advice for a girl who has just been played?Here's how it all began... I was supposed to hang out with this guy that I kinda liked... then my best friend kind of invited herself and her ex (My friend is a lesbian, for the record. And her ex is bi.) In hopes that hanging out with her ex they'd end up together again, but she didn't want to hang out with her alone... So we all hung out. When we all went to the park the guy I like and my friend's ex ran off and completely ditched my friend and I. From what I had heard in their conversation, they were really hitting it off, causing me to feel a little jealous. My friend didn't get to hang out with her ex at all, and I didn't get any alone time with my guy either.When it was time to go, my friend's ex sat in the front seat right next to the guy I like. I sat in the back. I listened to their conversation the whole time, they exchanged numbers, talked about hanging out, talked about their tastes in music, and basically flirted. (At this point I just wanted to kick my friend's ex out of the car) But, so, I tried not to notice.After this, things went back to normal, the guy I like and I would continue hanging out, kissing, hugging, and stuff. I thought the worst was completely over, that my guy would just give up on my friend's ex, especially considering that she's bi, and my friend told him to back off.But, for the past few times we hung out, he didn't even bother taking me anywhere, we went to get ice cream then he just drove me home. He didn't kiss me like normal, he just hugged me. He stopped texting me. The last time I had hung out with him something happened concerning my friend and her ex (can't discuss it) and when I tried to tell him about it, he said, "Yeah (Name will not be mentioned, just know that it's my friend's ex) already called me."That hurt. She actually gets to talk to him, meanwhile, he never answers my texts. (And I don't even text him often!)So when I told this to my friend, she said, "She called him?! Oh, wow! Why?!" And she then admitted that her ex and the guy I like have been getting very close lately... always talking... always hanging out.I feel destroyed.He and I never dated... but we always kissed and always seemed to like each other. Damn it, he even fingered me! Any advice? I don't think I want him back, but is there any words to help me cope? Everytime I think back on him I feel so embarrassed to even be seen with him.I've been played. I need help.
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female
reader, KaileyLove +, writes (23 May 2010):
KaileyLove is verified as being by the original poster of the question @MOO'S MUM:
Yeah. He even said that he had liked me. But, I really don't think that he had cared at all to make it hurt less for me. That's who he is, he's selfish and never cares about anything. And I really do hope he gets hurt, especially by this girl. She's tough, he's not. Basically, she could kick his ass... but maybe he likes the tougher girls? Whatever, I shouldn't linger on this, it's true that she wouldn't settle just for him, and I'm glad. Thank you. :)
@ASK OLDERSISTER:
Ouch... as much as I like to hear the truth, that was terribly blunt. But, I do appreciate it. At first when I read what you had wrote, I felt like you were trying to be mean in some way, but... I think you have a good point. It's true what had happened between us, and I was too weak to stop him, I probably should've. Maybe I did make myself seem to easy, and I'm usually not, I just couldn't stop him. Perhaps I looked up to him too much and saw him as a god-like figure, maybe I didn't want to stop him. I should've. And I definately won't let this happen again. Now I know, and thanks. :)
@XEARO:
Yes, there are other fish in the sea. I know he didn't want a relationship, and I really didn't want one that bad either. Truthfully, he used me to fill his space until he found someone else, I think I wanted to do the same. Because, if I had found a better guy then I would've dumped this guy in a heartbeat, no tears included. I will move on, thank you. :)
UPDATE:
Heh, thank you, your advice really helped me cope through this. And, I actually have replaced this guy.
The day I had recieved your advice, I decided to move on and stop worrying about this situation. And my ex had called me up, and I have a boyfriend now. He certainly cares alot more, and he always treated me right. I am on the right path now. And this guy won't get into my pants so easily. ;)
THANK YOU!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2010): There are other fish in the sea, much nicer ones at that. Even though you clearly wanted a relationship, I don't think this guy had any intentions of that sort since he got your attention without the commitment. It's easy to move on from this, its just up to you if you want it to be so.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (22 May 2010):
 I think he genuinely liked you but then got swept off his feet by this other girl which sucks big time for you. It's unfortunate that he lacked the maturity to deal with the realtionship you two had in a more appropriate way so that you didn't get hurt.
I wouldn't waste anymore time worrying about this or thinking about him because you know what he will get his just desserts. He's with an openly bisexual person and she's not going to settle for the one guy for the rest of her life. He's going to get hurt big time and I hope you're not going to be the poor sucker who's there to pick up the pieces when that happens.
Move on and make some new friends and have fun!
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